Saturday, October 6, 2012

70: I Don't Live Up to My Full Potential Either

This is a continuation to Day 69: A LIFE WORTH LIVING...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret/pick up first by/through my Parents how/why they wanted/desired me to mold/shape myself to be and become a winner in this world/reality because I have assumed/perceived that what my Parents wanted/desired for me to be and become was actually valid/reasonable to "reach my potential" - within this I didn't allow myself to understand that in order for there to be a winner within and as this world/reality, there MUST be a loser play-out to balance the polarity game to continuously continue the game of abuse to happen from generation to generation to allow everyone to give into the game of "reaching one's potential" - not seeing, realizing, understanding that all what I was doing has been reaching for something non-existent - because the potential that I was in essence reaching out for wasn't in anyway concrete - therefore - the more I actually continued to live my life "reaching my potential" I was in actuality allowing someone else to lose their potential - all because I wanted to win an idea/belief that was unconsciously collectively mind-projected as good/right/successful - because I in essence was too busy wrapped up in doing everything in my delusional power to reach for potential that in the end evolved to another character/personality - I mean, if I actually had taken the time to understand/realize/investigate how every action and/or deed has an energetic starting-point - then I will have an energetic consequence that will not only affect myself in the end - but carry out the polarity affect to someone else in the end - all because I wanted/desired to reach an opportunity/potential that could never stand The Test of Time - I do NOT accept or allow myself to continue molding/shaping myself based on what my Parents have carried over to myself - to continuously live out the Sins of Fathers because it's what I've taught myself to actually want/desire to live; absolutely and specifically - I now see, realize and understand that "reaching my potential" is completely ludicrous because everything is here as breath to be and become a possible potential to realize that it's time to take a step back and Re-DIS-COVER myself to realize/understand/investigate what "reaching one's potential" actually implies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret/pick up on the ideas/beliefs/perceptions/assumptions my Parents have gathered through their lives about what it means to be alive - not seeing/realizing/understanding that my Parents lived a life of knowledge and information and within this would mold/shape themselves to be and become characters/personalities/personas - no judgment needed - I allow myself to take a step back and breathe - to in fact understand that I MUST teach myself in every moment of every breath to realize that what it means to be Alive is to be living here as breath as self-awareness - I MUST teach myself all over what it means to be alive - what it means to reach one's potential - because my entire Life I have assumed/perceived that Life's only potential is to be and become something outside myself that is collectively agreed by/through society as being good/right/successful to win in Life - I now see, realize and understand that it's pointless/meaningless for me to place-project blame/anger to/towards my Parents because I've been taught to live knowledge/information - I allow myself to bring myself back down to Earth - to in fact realize that it's time to teach myself who I am - because all I've ever known about myself was reaching for something that only ever involved another character/personality/persona - to practically transform myself and this world to actually understand/realize the actual potential is here and has always been here into an absolute equal and one expression of that which is best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame/be and become angry to my Parents because I am not taking self-responsibility for I am the one that made the choice/decision to "reach for something" - within this I allow myself to understand how/why I am allowing myself to purposely/deliberately blame/be and become angry at my Parents because I don't want to see how I molded/shaped myself without question - through the years - not seeing/realizing/understanding how I am in actuality angry and blaming myself - because I see myself as wasting my life away for absolutely nothing. And so I am not aware/have never been aware that blaming/being and becoming angry because I see/realize/understand that "reaching for potential" was never about being and becoming the best I can be and become - because my entire idea/belief/perception/assumption about potential was never about what is here in every moment - but only chasing after another character/personality/persona - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that living my Lie based on blame/anger is pointless/meaningless because it was never about assisting/supporting myself to understand that I am separating myself by/through defining and giving value to the past as memories to how I deliberately/purposely compromise/abuse/sabotage myself in each moment to in fact see/realize/understand the opportunity/potential that is here and has always been here and so it was never about potential but only remaining a victim to potential to never face myself and so potential became a scapegoat for myself - because it was how I allowed myself to continue to never in fact take self-responsibility and placing myself in other people's shoes when/as the polarity of consequence would affect someone else - therefore - I was another CharACTer never living the opportunity/potential that is here and of course has always been here.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that our ideas/beliefs/expectations begins with how our Parents want us to live because our Parents show/reveal how were going to live our lives in every moment of every breath and so why/how Parents bring us up affects how we see/don't see the potential that is here/has always been here - therefore - we spend our entire lives searching/finding the potential our Parents told us to find and if were not doing that were busy wasting/waiting for the potential our Parents didn't tell us to live here in every moment of every breath - therefore - I allow myself to understand that it doesn't matter if our Parents didn't or did give us lessons on how to win at Life or to actually be self-responsible because we spent our lives trying/attaining/attempting "reaching for potential" - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I cannot keep living my life based on mind-games of winning to not face myself - to face the potential that is here - to no longer justify/excuse myself to ever become a human being worthy of Life and so hiding/suppressing what was actually going on with myself has nothing to do with my Parents but my lack of care of Life because I was too busy in my mind "reaching for potential" - Time to come back to Earth!!!!!

To Be Continued...

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