Thursday, October 11, 2012
DAY 73: Less Is More
~Picture of me writing out looooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another.
~Picture of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me sitting at the computer, comparing myself to all the other Destonian's writings
~Picture of me sitting at my computer, writing out points that I am not integrating to the best of my ability.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face, when I am finished for the day.
~Picture of me falling asleep in the middle of writing.
~Picture of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to fully consider and realize that an image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face is only my mind - thus I realize that there are no shooooort points or loooong points - but what is in fact here in each and every moment, in each and every breath, that which will not lead to an inevitable character of compromise/abuse/sabotage - instead - I recreate myself here in each myself to no longer purposely/deliberately lose a perfect chance/opportunity to see who I am, within and as writing myself to freedom, for real, in fact.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought as image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face, to exist within and as me - especially and specifically in relation to trying/attaining to utilize this thought as the perfect scapegoat for myself to no longer write myself out, and thus manipulating myself that I might as well give up because I have projected writing shoooooort points as myself being/becoming lazy/undisciplined.
Within this - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow an image within and as my mind signify that I am apparently lazy/undisciplined, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of what makes or breaks someone to be lazy/undisciplined - and thus due to holding onto these memories I created/generated an experience of self-judgment when/as I am writing myself out, thus refusing to see/realize/understand that the experience of self-judgment is not in actuality a solution, but the fact that I am manipulating myself within and as self-judgment because I've no matter if my writing was long or short, I was defining from something outside myself
- as I now see, realize and understand that no matter the quantity of my writing, I focus on the quality of who I am within and as writing - to in fact integrate my realizations to actually walk the talk - to no longer squander a chance/opportunity to re-create myself here in this one life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist writing myself to freedom because I have convoluted writing into/as a point of either writing loooooong points or shooooort points - and thus within this would miss the actual chance/opportunity it is to write myself out, in the first place - not seeing/realizing/understanding that it is quite a chance/opportunity to even have the choice/decision to write myself out or not - to actually judge myself within and as my writing or not - because I have allowed writing myself out became self-sabotage - a point that which I found only self-judgment in, I have used to diminish me, I have NOT used to actually assist/support, I have NOT used to integrate the knowledge/information to in fact be/become a realization to walk my talk - as I now see, realize and understand how I talked myself into/as my mind to not simply see writing as it is, and thus actually LIVE what writing should actually be HERE within and as this world/reality - to in fact walk the talk - to create a platform of writing that doesn't involve self-judgment, in that to LIVE for REAL - to create a solution by/through writing myself to freedom, that which will actually bring about true freedom, True Freedom that involves All as One as Equal.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to self-honestly admit to myself that being self-judging the picture-presentation of my writing being categorized as short/long because the starting point within all that I ever written was never FOR self, and thus I would place my writings into boxes for myself to never in fact stand, as it was never writing myself to freedom to begin with, but was based on separation from the whole within my starting-point to not LIVE self-honesty - as I now see, realize and understand that it's not about what I am NOT Living, but what I am currently living as, because anyone can spend their lives living for an immense amount of years and never realize the chance/opportunity it is to not give into/as self-judgment - because I've allowed my entire Life to be filled within/as placing myself into boxes that only revolved around limitation/enslavement - not seeing/realizing/understanding that this was just another judgment that I used/abused to squander my chance/opportunity to in fact LIVE.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to self-honestly face the extent to which I have limited/enslaved myself to place myself in boxes, that only ever involved seeing any door of opportunity to see something that I must mind-project to place into/as categories, wherein I had taken writing as an energetic game for my ego so that I would not have to face myself within and as writing, for real, believing that I could continuously live out writing as knowledge/information - yet, the knowledge/information never in fact was living in the first place to live out, as I was not actuality valuing nor caring about or for myself in anyway, but instead only remained squandering each door of opportunity, such as writing - to in fact live for real.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stepping out of character within and as writing, because then I would have to trust myself that I would UN-MASK the characters that exist within and as me, and that I would stand up until Life has in fact assisted/supported ALL life-forms here in this physical reality - thus I forgive myself that I instead talked myself into believing that I would be okay to remain placing my writings into/as categories - to furthermore remain judging myself, as I saw clearly that if I in fact wrote myself to freedom, no matter what, there would be absolutely nowhere to hide, no more self-judgment to hide behind - because I would in fact see who I have and have become to see how I have suppressed/covered up from self-judgment to live in self-judgment for the rest of my life - to in fact realize how I have allowed myself to hide behind words that is writing when/as I finally learned how to give certain words values and definitions - to not see how I am squandering the chance/opportunity that is purifying words here in this one Life.
I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact ensure that I realize in fact that writing that is long/short has absolutely no value - because I allow myself to see WHO I AM within and as writing - to in fact LIVE - I allow myself to when/as I am writing to take it slow - to take into consideration what is real and tangible for me to walk within and as this world/reality - without the interference that is self-judgment - but simply take each word that is typed integrated within and as me to bring about a self-realization that I will allow me to in fact walk the talk here in this one life - to re-create myself within and as writing for real, in fact.
I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE, as I now see, realize and understand that writing has been a mind-projection game, wherein I over-analyze my words to the extent that I place myself into/as categories of being disciplined/lazy by/through the length of the words that I am writing out - I allow myself to be and become humble - without the interference of self-judgment - but simply understand that I AM HERE to gift myself within and as writing - to no longer judge myself based on what I am not or who I am currently living here as, creating myself for real, that which is best for this REALity.
To Be Continued...