Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 72: How Writing Could Become a Trap

 This is a continuation to Day 71: Writing Is Hard (Or Is It?)
~Picture of me writing out looooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another.
~Picture of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me sitting at the computer, comparing myself to all the other Destonian's writings
~Picture of me sitting at my computer, writing out points that I am not integrating to the best of my ability.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face, when I am finished for the day.
~Picture of me falling asleep in the middle of writing.

~Picture of me writing out looooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I MUST write out everything structured in a very looooooong structure to be able to be/become specific.

I forgive myself for accepting and myself to believe that I MUST write out everything structured in a very loooooong structure to be able to be/become specific, as an obligation - and thus within this would allow writing out to be and become a duty/obligation that I MUST complete a certain way, compromising/sabotaging/abusing myself in the process, to be and become a duty/obligation - not seeing/realizing/understanding that writing is for SELF - because I was too busy writing out from the starting-point that it MUST be done in a way that is apparently matching up to specificity, I have used/abused specificity as a idea/belief, and thus would compromise/sabotage/abuse myself in the process - as I now see, realize and understand how I've allowed writing to be/become a duty/obligation - because I haven't allowed myself to realize that writing is for SELF - as an anchor of support to express myself, absolutely and specifically.

I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to write from the starting point of obligation/duty, as "something I must do in a very non-tangible way" - because I have allowed writing to be/become just another form of limitation/enslavement, I have used to enclose myself to myself, and thus would lose myself within and as writing from a starting-point of being/becoming an obligation/duty - not seeing/realizing/understanding that I am setting myself up for falling in this process of re-birthing myself within and as this one life, and thus I am merely squandering a perfect chance/opportunity to in fact write myself out - to in fact walk my talk here in this one life - as I now see, realize and understand how I've consulted writing as just another character - because I have allowed writing to be/become a duty/obligation - to remain playing it safe - instead - I take a deep breath - to give myself a moment to gift myself the chance/opportunity to re-look at my starting-point of writing to in fact be/become a door of opportunity - to un-MASK the characters that I play-out when/as I am writing myself out, that which will inevitably bring about change that is best for all life, that which is also best for me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to REALize how writing out looooong or shoooooort writings have nothing to do with specificity, as specificity is realizing a point - and thus within this expanding the realization to in fact get to the root of how I have allowed writing to be/become something a chore/obligation, and thus I would jump from one point to another - because I wasn't in actuality writing myself out, as specificity doesn't imply the length - as I now see, realize and understand that if that were the case than everyONE would realize what an actual chance/opportunity it is to in fact write in the first place - because for gazillions of years - writing has been a chore/obligation, and thus we would write out empty words that are are left by/through interpretation - to never in fact actually see what is here, in that which is no longer seeing into the veil of the mind - to create a platform of seeming within and as the body, NOT the mind, creating a solution that is best for all, that which is best for all, and thus within this would allow INTO-ME-SEE be/become a door of opportunity, that which will allow ourselves to no longer remain blind.

I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe and perceive that writing out loooooong points or short points makes a difference on how I am actually expanding myself, including who I am within and as specificity - because I have allowed writing to be/become a ground of judgment to see myself as superior or inferior, and thus I have squandered a perfect door of opportunity to equalize myself to in fact integrate the words that I am writing out, one by one, no longer limiting/enslaving myself, and thus would instead in fact learn to write all over again - as I now see, realize and understand that I've correlated writing within and as knowledge/information - to treat writing like a chore/obligation - because I gave into what I was taught throughout my life on what writing should/shouldn't be used for in the first place - instead - I allow myself to in fact write myself to freedom, for real, in that which is tangible, that which will allow me to grow/develop/expand myself, in all ways possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist writing myself to freedom because I have judged this point, including myself, as "something bigger than myself" - and thus within this would allow a image of me writing out loooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another, to exist within and as myself - as I now see, realize and understand how I've correlated specificity in relation to writing out loooooong points - because I have allowed writing myself out become self-sabotage - a point which I have found self-judgment in, I have used to diminish me, I have used as something to be/become inferior, and thus would define myself as superior in regards to someone giving me positive feed back - not seeing/realizing/understanding that the feed back that I give has absolutely nothing to do within and as how I am actually assisting/supporting myself, and thus I am merely pulling a huuuuuuge polarity mind-fuck game to instead stop, take a deep breath - to create a platform of writing, in that which is tangible - yet specific - to create a solution that is best for all, that which is best for me.

I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out loooooong points, jumping from one point to another -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact ensure that I no longer treat writing as another characterization for me to never un-mask the characters of who I am within and as writing - because I have treated writing as a chore/obligation - to merely get gone - instead - I allow myself myself to realize that writing is a door of opportunity to realize who I am/have been - without the interference of the mind - but simply gift myself the chance/opportunity to realize that writing is here - to re-create myself that which is best for all life, that which is also best for me.

I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out looooong points, jumping from one point to another -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact ensure that specificity does not mean/imply how long/short I am writing myself out - but simply the starting-point to ALWAYS be SELF - because I have allowed myself to treat writing as a chore/obligation, something to finish/complete to get to the next task/assignment - I allow myself to realize that when/as/if I am treating writing as another to in fact stop - because this is a confirmation that I am not here as breath as self-expression - but instead I am busy in my mind to get to the next quickie, that which always involves being a slave/character to time, so - I allow myself to simply get back to REALity to no longer squander a chance/opportunity to expand myself, in all ways possible, for real in fact.
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