I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my entire basis on walking this process based on how I am reacting to my world/reality and within this would thus create a belief/idea about how much my family is abusing myself, not investigating how/why I have allowed myself to completely take away my power based on what my outer-reality is showing/revealing to myself, that which I must correct, and thus I would be too busy remaining a victim to the person/situation I am facing. I now see, realize and understand that I am preventing myself from actually getting to know what I can/must be capable of walking here in this life, really getting to know how I can walk this process based how I can take a part my reactions in relation to my world/reality to correct my physical walking here in this process of self-purification, because I allow myself to utilize that which I react to, to in fact walk myself out of my mind. When and as I see myself forming an idea based on my immediate world/reality, and thus react accordingly - I stop and I breathe - I do not accept or allow myself to continue judging/defining who I am/could be to a picture I see of those within/as my immediate world/reality - but instead I commit myself to really getting to know myself all over again, as my real self - and not create an false idea about what I am not capable of based on what I am projecting outside myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, throughout my life, connect and link my mind-projections of what I am cable of walking based on what my family is throwing at myself - thinking and believing that when my family is reacting that I have done something bad/wrong/negative and when my family isn't reacting that I have done something good/right/positive. Within this I would then be accessing memories I have of my projections of what stability apparently means - and then I would immediately assume that when/as my world/reality is behaving certain way that I must've been the one that was completely part of the problem through connecting the image I see of stability that is being showed/revealed within/as my immediate world/reality as some sort of sign that I am apparently done something a certain way. I now see, realize and understand that I am preventing myself from getting to know myself when I allow myself to create a mind-projection about what it in fact means to be stable - linking it to past memories/experiences that I have had. I commit myself to, when and as I see myself making mind correlations based on stability, remain here, breathing - not allowing myself to go into forming any idea/belief/perception about stability because of an image I have created within and as my mind - but to instead really stop to investigate what it means to in fact live stability, to finally get to know myself for real, no longer dominated by/through what my outer-reality is throwing back at myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my family can in fact inflict reactions based on what I am creating within/as my mind about how my world/reality is a reflection of how I have done something bad/wrong/negative or good/right/positive - not seeing/realizing or understanding that this is all sabotage for myself - in where I take apart what my world/reality is reflecting back to myself and within that would thus sabotage myself into thinking and believing that I must give myself certain value and/or definitions when/as my world/reality presents something that I project as a certain energetic charge. I now see, realize and understand that how my family reacts doesn't reveal/show anything about me being labeled as good/bad - but an awesome opportunity for myself to see how I can really get to know my strengths/weaknesses -from the perspective of correcting that which I have trouble to not react that which my world/reality is reflecting back at myself an awesome chance/opportunity to not be swayed, no matter what, and if I do, another chance/opportunity to investigate myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only change myself when/as my world/reality would reflect something that which I have carried a certain energetic charge - and within this would change myself and my expression towards those in my outer-reality dependent on fear - dependent on something that which I would change myself if my world/reality would reflect something I have projected as bad/wrong/negative. I now see, realize and understand that I can never trust myself to change for real if I am basing when/as to change when something I have projected outside myself is bad/wrong/negative so thus I commit myself to even change myself and call it change when it only ever involved the starting-point of fear that was actually from the starting-point to not face myself and instead I furthermore commit myself to really get to know myself to in fact change based on my own self-will and not the reactions that I have carried weight within/as my immediate world/reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that people within/as my world/reality have the power over me to react accordingly because of past experiences/memories I have had that if I didn't then I would completely have the power to change myself, not fear - and because of this would thus think and believe that if I did actually give my power back to myself that I would no longer have anywhere to hide - and within this would thus create an automatic reaction of FEAR of those in my outer-reality to remain my master because of how I have linked/connected those in my outer-reality as those that have complete power of myself and how I even choose to live my life - not seeing, realizing or understanding that it is myself that I am going to have to live with, not those in my outer-reality that which I give power over me. I now see, realize and understand that dependent on when change would show within/as my world/reality I would react accordingly - instead of acting accordingly in this one life that I have the chance/opportunity to change myself - when all the while all that which I was changing was my expression to do everything in my power to remain living in fear. I commit myself to, when I am living in complete petrification of fear, to always make sure that I remain here, stable, breathing - expressing me as who I am - not taking on a automation system to survive in this world/reality to forevermore remain a character/enhancing certain aspects of myself because I fear changing myself for real - thus I instead within moments in where I see that I am changing myself based on fear - to stop and breathe - bring myself back to here and express myself as who I actually am and within that I furthermore commit myself to get to know know for what I am actually capable of living here in this one life - not form an idea/belief/perception of change according to what my family is throwing back at me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can continue living my life being so scared of change - believing that I must conform to how my immediate world/reality want/desire me to do here in this life - and within this would thus only change myself due to the characterization that I have chose to live, only it was never me making the choice to live, not really. I commit myself to, when and as I see that I am choosing to live my life based on the conformity that I was taught all throughout my life - to stop and breathe - realize that I am accessing judgments/definitions/beliefs/ideas within my mind that is based on the Sins of the Fathers - and within this this stop myself from acting according to my beliefs/ideas/perceptions/judgments/definitions and instead always express myself here, getting to what I am actually capable of living here in this one life - not according to my judgments on how I am suppose to live my life - since I can see that I am limiting/preventing myself from actually getting to know myself - as well as no longer living my life based on those in my immediate world/reality.
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