Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Day 6: Embracing POWER
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ONLY see myself as someone that will always remain in fear/anxiety of other people because I think/believe that everyone is entirely separate from me and have the power to ridicule myself, within this I'm NOT actually understanding that I'm giving every single person power that I won't allow myself to actually give to myself and become the self-directive principle of my life. I'm not understanding that power is what allows this world to continue in this state of atrocity, and so I'm not understanding that if I take back my power to actual self-power to become the self-directive principle of my life then I know that I will have to change myself and take back my power to self-responsibility to realize that every part/aspect I live in anxiety/fear of other people is what is actually allowing the world to continue on like this, I now see, realize and understand that if I continue living this way for other people to have control and power over me then I will become another character in this illusionary reality, I do not accept or allow myself to become another character to fuel/power the matrix but allow myself to LIVE power to my utmost potential to actually LIVE what I fear the most: MYSELF actually having POWER to direct myself in every moment of every breath, I now take my power back and walk this process and when I see myself becoming anxious/fearful of other fear I investigate why/how I'm allowing myself to separate myself from power, to actually become someone that is LIVING.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live to my utmost potential because of thinking/believing that everyone has power over me because I haven't allowed myself to understand what power actually means in practical-living application, and so I allow myself to redefine the word, POWER back to the dust of LIFE to understand that LIFE isn't a place of always surviving in fear-based masks and waiting for someone to hurt us the next minute we allow ourselves to actually give POWER back to ourselves. I do not accept to allow myself to see POWER as a mere money-making starting-point of greed but to understand that if I'm going to see POWER as another abusive form of atrocity to always find some way to manipulate the system and the people of the system then I will fuel the power structure of money-making even more in my inner-outer reality because I'm not allowing myself to embrace power because the system is here and so POWER is here. I see, realize and understand that the moment I allow myself to embrace ALL that is here will be the moment where I actually understand what we as human-beings have done to this world/reality and ourselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fearful of embracing ALL that is here because I fear what would happen to me if I were to change, Would people hurt/harm me in some way? I now see, realize and understand that becoming fearful of someone/something hurting me is mere separation on my part and NOT taking full responsibility for myself allowing to hurt/harm myself in the making of someone possibly hurting/harming me, and so I now understand the complete sabotage pattern of embracing all of me within the starting-point of fear because in the end all what actually happens is more dimensions of the mind being created and abuse still happening in my name of merely being fearful of a puny fear of NOT accepting and embracing ALL that is here, because within NOT accepting ALL that is HERE is not accepting myself in anyway but fueling my mind to always remain another character that will die without any actual change brought on to reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as another character that lives the status-quo in relation to the family, NOT willing myself to direct myself to push the buttons of myself and those around me because its only then will I realize how much myself and the people around me have become a mere consciousness bubble to never actually change but to become another character that will live a life of comfort to follow the generations that passed and were never remembered and had nothing left but a simple memory of complete abuse and atrocity. I do not accept or allow myself to become another character walking this earth to never become worthy or measure up to live to stick to what is here in anyway whatsoever, I allow myself to re-earth myself to investigate the inner-workings of my mind to finally bring about a change that is best for ALL Life. I now see, realize and understand that living up to the Sins of my Fathers is not a choice because I know what I will then become: Another character to live a life of acting to find other characters to allow this reality to become HOLLYwood, I do not accept to allow myself become another actor looking for parts to play out in this reality and will do anything in my POWER to find any chance to out shine the other characters, I allow myself to become worthy of Life and not live out a script for the rest of my life and call that life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the status-quo of my family because I didn't want/desire to push any buttons or step on any toes, and so in the making of this picture-perfect character game I allowed myself to NOT see anyway to bring about a change but to remain enslaved forever to always live up to my family's desire of what life is. I now see, realize and understand that putting on characters and calling that life does not in anyway support myself and this existence but only perpetuates the abuse in this reality while I continue marveling in complete bliss in lala land with my family to keep the customers happy. I do not accept or allow myself to live in bliss while this world goes to shit but allow myself to understand what I've been accepting and allowing as I was living in the bliss of the mind to NOT see the actuality of this reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only start questioning this world and reality when I started experiencing pain and depression to understand that this life is not what it makes it out to be, and so I allow myself to investigate what I've become by walking out of my mind and into the physical to understand just how much I've lied to myself just because of not wanting/desiring to make anyone angry in my family to realize what separation I was actually living in. I now see, realize and understand that living in complete bliss and only understanding how abusive this world is merely because I'm starting to see how fucked up this world is, is actual proof of how much we've separated ourselves as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that ALL uncomfortability, ALL frustration, ALL fear is only an illusional character created in the memory of the illusional character as the main character and that all emotional reactions that I experience are but illusionary characters that have managed to become a separate entity within and as myself to be able to influence the illusionary of other illusionary characters to create an infinite illusion for the illusionary good of humanity, even becoming the whole of humanity to never question the illusionary parts we play to NEVER come to a point of change. I see, realize and understand that this illusionary game MUST end or we WILL end, dying to become a mere illusionary character isn't what I want to leave for future children to come, and so I realize that the only way to reach a change for illusionary characters in this world is to become part of this illusionary system because this illusionary system is what stands for eternity, within this I realize that I won't be here on this planet for eternity and that the only way for me to bring about a change that is best for all is to change the system that always remains so that LIFE always remains.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live everyday as though I will live for eternity, and so I can continue living in ignorance and only start questioning this world and reality when I start experiencing some pain, I'm separating myself extensively from those that are starving and living on the streets, I'm separating myself from humanity to only ever question this reality if I experience a very small percentage of what is actually happening in this world and reality. I do not accept or allow myself to continue living in bliss when people are living in absolute abuse that I cannot even fathom, I now see, realize and understand that if I continue playing this game of NOT deliberately seeing what is happening in this world then what does that make me? I'm then equally responsible for those that are starving and living on the streets because I'm part of the elite that continues living in lala land to never actually understand the extent of abuse that we've become as life, I now understand that this isn't acceptable and can never be life and so I stand up and open my heart to allow others to hear the message that Desteni presents to bring about a world that can finally be what is best for ALL Life.
Take a chance on Life and yourself and investigate Desteni.org. http://desteni.org/