Communication has always been this point of impossibility to express everything that I actually don't saying anything at all - within this I allow myself to become silent and not share/express myself at all because I think/believe - "I don't have the words" or "I can't find the words," and so I shut myself out from myself to NOT dictate everything that I can express myself in a moment. The fact of the matter is - the words are always here and me stating, "I don't have the words" or "I can't find the words," is me stating to myself - "The point isn't here," therefore, I'm stating, "I'm not here" - within this I now see realize and understand that everything is here and so I'm here, I mean this entire point is me limiting myself to a database of memory to think/believe that I must/always have some sort of point outside of myself to remind me actually of myself - obviously this point IS me and so justifying the very point that I've created and say to myself, "The point isn't here," is merely confirmation on my part for how I've separated myself from myself to NOT see the very nature of what I've created and if EVERY point is here and I'm deliberately NOT looking at the point that which is always here, then I now see, realize and understand I've separated myself from my own creation that which I created - within this I understand that limiting myself to the possibility of communications to an impossibility is illusion to NOT will myself to express/share in complete vulnerability to NOT allow myself to become silent for hours and hours, because I think/believe I don't have the point or even the ability to communicate in the first place - within this I'm comparing myself to people that are considered, 'intellectuals,' or who can always have something to say in complete flow that most people would consider, 'beautiful,' - within this I now see realize and understand that most of those people were educated differently then me, therefore, I allow myself to share/express and understand that everyone is my equal, no matter what education was received or not, what matters is what is here, and so I allow myself to communicate without judgment and pure self-expression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that communication is so impossible to the extent where I don't say anything at all and completely hide/suppress the point to communicate with others in complete self-expression and vulnerability to NOT allow any backchat of the nature - "I don't have the words" or "I can't find the words," to the extent where I become silent for hours and completely allow the backchat to consume/compromise myself in a moment to speak/write/communicate in all forms and NOT limit myself to the uncomfortability/inferiority I experience in the moment to NOT simply just trust myself and actually LIVE for the first time and bring about a world that is best for all - within this I MUST communicate/write/speak because that is the only way there will ever be any chance to this world and reality but at the same time it is NOT in anyway pretty words that is going to change this world and reality to a place that can finally be what is best for all - therefore - I now see realize and understand that the last thing this world needs is another philosopher but someone that will LIVE him/her words to actual self-expression and share/express him/her self in the moment and stop at NOTHING until this world actually starts matching what the light workers what this world to be. Only this time it will be a world that will be what is best for all and money will NOT dictate someone's destiny - therefore - I allow myself to dictate myself to myself and those that are willing to here me or hear me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the possibilities of communication to an impossibility because I think/believe - I don't have the words" or "I can't find the words," to express/share myself in complete vulnerability to actually understand that communication is ONLY impossible when/if I'm in my mind looking for something/finding something in my database of my mind that revolves around ideas/projections of what to say/what not to say - within this I'm creating a freaking hand-book in my head on the guidelines on how I should or shouldn't communicate/write/speak in the moment without any mind-filter to compromise myself in a moment to NOT actually communicate in vulnerability and understand the words that I'm actually speaking and NOT what/won't look good to someone/something outside myself to fuel/power my mind more to the ideas/projections of how I should/shouldn't communicate to actually in-fact communicate/write/speak in vulnerability to investigate how/why I've NOT allowed myself to limit myself completely to actually be self-honest within myself or another person and actually sharing/expressing in a moment and NOT jumping from dimension to another on all these databases of memory that are mere picture-presentations of CharACTers that did or didn't go well to maintain the ideas/projections of how I want/desire for myself to communicate - JUST for myself to NOT realize this ONE point of actual communication/writing/speaking that is actual communication that has no boundaries or limitations based on energy but actual sharing/expressing that only self-honesty can realize and LIVE one to understand how we've never actually communicated before.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become silent for hours and hours because I think/believe I don't have the ability to communicate in the first place - within this I'm comparing myself to people that are considered, 'intellectuals,' or who can always have something to say in complete flow that most people would consider, 'beautiful,' - I now see, realize and understand that I'm NOT taking into account that differences of education that was presented, I'm also NOT understanding the entire point of, 'intellectuals,' merely being just like any other being that is trapped within and as knowledge/information to communicate/write/speak a certain way - I do NOT accept or allow myself to trap myself within comparison of how others communicate to make words sound, 'beautiful,' but allow myself to understand that since this world is driven by knowledge/information people are going to give values and definitions to people that know a lot of information - therefore - I allow myself to see, realize and understand that living a life of how much I can remember is not in-fact communication to make wording seem, 'beautiful,' but in-fact more empty meaningless knowledge that never stood a chance to/towards Life to bring about a world where everyone can be educated equally and to actually communicate for real - to finally bring the words back to Life.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the words that I even speak in complete unawareness of Life IS always here, in essence, I'm stating, "I'm NOT here," - within this I'm NOT understanding that even communication within and as complete unawareness of Life IS always here represents just how much I've suppressed/hid myself from Life in ALL ways to limit myself to a database of memory to think/believe that I must remember the point - NOT understanding in anyway that if this point IS me and here then I'm actually already here, therefore, there is no logical excuse to NOT communicate/write/speak in anyway to express/share in a moment to finally break free from the separation I've created to think/believe I must get somewhere/find something in my memory to actually understand the programs within and as myself to break free from the bondage I've held to always hide/suppress myself to express/share within and as communication - within this I now see, realize and understand that I'm also separating myself from my own memories - NOT understanding that every memory is always here in real time - therefore - trying/attaining to get something/find something within my memories is only mere proof of just how much we've separated ourselves from our own time-line on this planet - therefore - I allow myself to live every moment and every memory - HERE - in REAL Time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify/abdicate self-responsibility to the VERY points I've created and say to myself, "The point isn't here," - within this is mere confirmation to NOT investigate the very nature of what I've created and if every point is here and I'm deliberately NOT looking at the point that which is always here, then I now see, realize and understand how much I've separated myself from my own creation of programs to never in-fact change in anyway - within this I'm NOT understanding how much I've enslaved myself and how me simply justifying/abdicating the VERY points I've created show/reveals the true nature of my own ignorance to NOT see, realize and understand in-fact that every decision/movement has an outflow that affects people in some ways - therefore - I now actually understand that if I continue justifying/abdicating self-responsibilities to the VERY points I've created and say to myself, "The point isn't here," - then I know I'm just another CharACTer that is fueling/power this world and reality to continue NOT communicating/speaking/writing to finally spread the message of Desteni for humanity as a group to take back which is already here and that which has always been here - therefore - I allow myself to communicate/write/speak to spread the message of Equality & Oneness to in-fact become an Earthling that in-fact doesn't use and abuse my own backchat as a logical excuse to NOT will myself to share/express within and as communication to understand that communication is always here and waiting for the communicator to see, realize and understand that the words aren't in-fact alive - YET.
I now see, realize and understand that to become silent and suppress/hide to NOT share/express myself at all because I think and believe - "I don't have the words" or "I can't find the words," to the extent where I shut myself out from myself to NOT dictate everything that I express in the moment - within this I'm not understanding that I'm allowing my backchat to consume to the extent - wherein, I allow myself to completely become mute and uncomfortable/inferior to my own expression in the moment - I now see, realize and understand that limiting myself to thinking/believing that my database of knowledge/information is not here in the moment for me to write out a point to my utmost potential in specificity to actually understand how I've been shoving all forms of expression within myself in the gutter of my mind because of a mere idea I created that the point that I've created isn't here - I do NOT accept to allow myself to limit myself as self-expression to limit my expression to share/express in a moment because of NOT understanding that if a point isn't here - I'm NOT here - therefore - I'm NOT understanding in anyway how I'm condemning myself to forever become another charACTer in this matrix to forevermore become nothing more and nothing less then another walking, talking and complete actor fueling/powering the matrix to continue NOT seeing what is here in this world and reality to always find some justification to always hide/suppress the actuality of the complete separation we've been living as Actors.
I now see, realize and understand that I did NOT in anyway take into consideration that all this reality has become is people speaking pretty words to entertain/distract ourselves/existence/life to never in anyway speak our words in actual practical-living - within this everyone has become a philosopher in someway or light worker to never LIVE actual words or love and light to ALL on Earth and so I now understand that communicating/speaking/writing is the ONLY way for there to be change but in the meantime its time to bring myself words out in the open to investigate the actuality of the words that I express/share and understand in complete humbleness that all the words I have ever spoken were in essence me speaking to myself to finally wake up myself to actually speak for the first time and understand that I've always never communicated but only spoken words to fuel/power my own ego and characters to always stop at nothing to LIVE my life as a philosopher and/or light worker to never understand that I've never actually been self-honest within and as myself for myself to investigate why/how I've been living my life communicating these words that only ever meant complete suppression/hiding to never in-fact LIVE my words in actual humbleness to finally share/express within communication to finally write/speak/share/express for the first time within self-honesty and NOT in my over-philosophized and heart-wrenching light worker fantasies.