Day 7: Part 1 - The Introvert Character - What are you hiding from?

The Introvert Character is a sneaky little devil that makes you think/believe that you coined the idea to not share with others as a choice, but the Introvert character is tied onto: The Hiding Character, The Suppression Character and The Shy Character; to capture the idea that self has chose to not interact/communicate/share with others because self enjoys being alone, but if self isn't going to share him/herself then what would that make self? Can self really enjoy him/herself unconditionally when he/she is hiding behind a character? The Introvert Character has become a part of my life/process as long as I can remember, it was a defense mechanism to avoid communication/interaction/sharing and ultimately vulnerability to put all cards on the table to express myself, here, in the moment - to commit myself to NOT hold back and JUST express myself and share, but within this character I allow myself to put on my character suit to avoid any chances of someone rejecting/judging me in some shape/form, as I did NOT see, realize and understand that if I'm going to react/perceive someone rejecting/judging me in some shape/form - then, 'who am I,' within the point of allowing myself to completely compromise myself in the moment to EXPRESS - to LIVE? I'm just another Character - NOT seeing/realizing and understanding that if I'm NOT going to express/live in the moment - then I'm simply condemning myself to absolutely SEE myself as ANOTHER, see, realize and understand that EVERYONE - EVERY SINGLE BEING - is ME, as ONENESS and EQUALITY, as SELF-EXPRESSION?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - NOT see, realize and understand that if I'm going to use/abuse The Introvert Character to NOT interact/communicate/share with others - then I KNOW that I've been living a lie to cover up my fear to put all the cards on the table and JUST express myself and share - I now see, realize and understand that if I continuously hide/suppress because of a character that I've coined up to NOT share myself in the moment - to JUST hide behind this ONE POINT - then I KNOW, Major Problem I have to go back to the drawing board and find a solution in practical-living to NOT hide/suppress behind a suit of armor to make the interactions/communications/sharing I have more bearable for myself - to HIDE even more and compound the point further and NOT allow myself to become another character condemning myself to NOT communicate in the moment to EXPRESS - to LIVE for the very FIRST TIME. I do NOT accept or allow myself to hold back and JUST express myself and share to absolutely SEE myself as ANOTHER, see, realize and understand that EVERYONE - EVERY SINGLE BEING - is ME, as ONENESS and EQUALITY, as SELF-EXPRESSION.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - make up the idea/delusion that I have choose to NOT interact/communicate/share with others - then I see, realize and understand that I'm living a Character - because wouldn't me as LIFE share/interact/communicate with others unconditionally - to expand myself to allow others to see the realizations I have AS myself? I do NOT accept or allow myself to hide/suppress my LIFE essence to a character that only perpetuates self-interest and abuse - I now see, realize and understand that if I'm hiding and suppressing because of a defense mechanism of me choosing to NOT interact/communicate/share with others - then I KNOW, Major Problem I have to EXPRESS myself immediately in my outer-reality to kick The Introvert Character in the ass - to FINALLY come to a SOLUTION of practical-living to absolutely SEE myself as ANOTHER, EVERYONE - EVERY SINGLE BEING, as SELF-EXPRESSION - HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - fear vulnerability and within this I'm fearing SELF-EXPRESSION because obviously if there is going to be a fear of putting all the cards on the table and JUST express myself and share - then I KNOW, I fear MYSELF to JUST express myself and share to absolutely SEE myself as ANOTHER, see, realize and understand MYSELF as ANOTHER - EVERYONE - EVERY SINGLE BEING - as ME. I do NOT accept or allow myself to fear vulnerability and JUST express myself and share to  see, realize and understand that vulnerability can be the BEST thing that has ever happen to me - as ME to communicate/interact/share in COMPLETE self-trust because I now understand that vulnerability is HERE - in EVERY MOMENT - in EVERY SECOND - EVERY BREATH - as ME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - put The Introvert Character on and suit up for this ONE POINT to compromise myself to express/share/live in a MOMENT - because of fearing judgment/rejection in some shape/form because of NOT willing myself to SEE myself as ANOTHER, and within this point I allowed myself to actually fear myself as the judgment/rejection that I think/believe is ME. I do NOT accept to allow myself to SEE myself as a limited character fueled/powered by rejection/judgment to NEVER embrace myself - in EVERY SECOND - EVERY BREATH - as ME. I now see, realize and understand that walking through this point to SEE myself as EVERYONE - EVERY SINGLE BEING is the ONLY way to gain my freedom back as a SELF-WILLED individual standing up for LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - put my life on hold for a character that only diminishes and compromises myself to express/share/life in a MOMENT - because of this ONE point of fearing judgment/rejection and so I allow myself to understand that if I define and give value to judgment/rejection from others - then that's exactly what I'll become: Judgment and Rejection as a Limited Character. Thus, a Limited Character will ALL what I'll become one-equal to and so I'll die in complete regret to have known that I had the chance to live - but dropped the chance in a moment for a character to live as another personality to never bring about a chance that is best for ALL Life, and if that's what I'm going to allow myself to become - then I already know that its just proof of how I've abandoned LIFE, right before my own eyes to living just another script of complete limitation that never stood as ANOTHER in complete vulnerability - in EVERY MOMENT - in EVERY SECOND of EVERY BREATH - as LIFE.

Related articles

• Faithful Obeying FEAR - An Artists Journey To Life: Day 105
• Day 29: Facing The 'I Don't Know' Character
• "Self Destruction" Character - An Artists Journey To Life: Day 101
• Day 31: Deleting the "I'm A Good Person" Character
• Day 76: The Worrisome Character
• 122. 'Is this as good as it gets?'
• 111. 'Why aren't you normal?'
• 113. Who am I within Judging Communication?
• Day 116: The War Within in the Name of God
• Day 20: Failure Fear Fail