Walking FEAR Dimensions of The Taking It Personally Character
accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when/as the moment/breath/chance/opportunity presents itself to actually have a self-realization, I immediately/instantaneously participate/experience/react as though the person/whomever or whatever is bringing forth a practical point of insight to "make me" experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid, within this I do not consider/take into consideration/account that I was merely taking the point personal, not the person, because at the end of the day it is the point that is showing/revealing a reflection of/as myself to actually equalize myself to in-fact accept self-responsibility to what I've allowed within and as myself/others as myself/this world and reality/existence to release myself by/through no longer taking everything personally, because I was essentially denying/not facing the points of myself that I don't want to see within and as myself to the extreme that I will self-create this bizarre idea/belief/perception/assumption that the person/whomever or whatever is bring forth the point is somehow "making me" experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid, wherein it was me the entire time that had given the ideas/beliefs/perceptions/assumptions more value and definitions to the point that I wouldn't allow myself to realize that it was all purposely/deliberately self-created within and as my mind to "make me" seem like some victim, for it to be more easy for myself to not see, realize, understand how much I am abusing/compromising/sabotaging myself and the person that I am communicating with in the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here, therefore, I did everything in my delusional power to self-create the perfect scapegoats to remain self-abusing myself for eternity, therefore, I now see, realize and understand that when/as the moment/breath/chance/opportunity presents itself to actually have a self-realization, I now re-consider who I am/have become in the moment to ensure that I don't purposely/deliberately self-create the idea/belief/perception/assumption that the person/whomever or whatever is bringing the point forth to "make me" experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid, because at the end of the day it was me who I had self-created the idea/belief/perception/assumption that something outside myself is "making me" experience myself a certain way to allow myself to feel better about who I am/have become to never realize who I am/could be in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am "being made" to experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid and within this would thus think, believe and perceive that I am completely defined and given value outside myself, not seeing/realizing or understanding that I am the one who has make the choice/decision to govern my power outside myself to the point/extent that I will mold/shape what I do or don't participate/experience/react within and as the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here all because of self-creating every possible delusion or illusion that is possible for me to remain a mere slave stuck in my own box of/as limitation to not realize what self-realization in practical-living means, because I've always spent my entire life thinking/believing and perceiving that realization has nothing to do with self taking self-responsibility, but to realize within and as an anterior motive to forever more remain self-abusing/compromising/sabotaging who I am/could be, therefore, I stop and I take a deep breath, I bring myself back to this physical reality through seeing/realizing and understanding that I do in-fact have power to create something worthwhile that can/must be what is best for all life to no longer remain placing/projecting myself in these various scenarios of/as "being made to do something" that was only/has always been in the starting-point to actually self-realize who I am/could and ultimately must be, ME.
judgment/diminishment, within this I have not considered/taken into consideration that in the moment when/as I am experiencing/participating/reacting as being/becoming less than/inferior/stupid I am inevitably "making myself" seem like the victim to the person/whomever or whatever is bringing forth the practical-insight as though I am the prey and the other party is the predator, and so I get to believe/deceive myself in the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here to "make myself" not come to a self-realization, because the entire concept of being/becoming a victim to the other party that is presenting the point in the first place was in-fact my perfect scapegoat to not stand up, I've allowed myself to self-create the idea/belief/perception/assumption that if I make up something within and as my mind, then it will be easier to remain taking everything personal to personally self-abuse myself over and over again for it to be less obvious to myself that I was screwing with myself the entire time, therefore, I now see, realize, understand that the fear of someone bringing forth a practical-insight was another door of opportunity that I've feared throughout my life, because I've never actually heard the person/whomever or whatever that was brining up the point in the moment/breath chance/opportunity, because I was too busy doing everything in my power to have it my way to self-realize who I am/have become, therefore, when/as someone/something is bring forth a point in the moment I do not/have never actually heard the person's words or anything of that nature, therefore, I allow myself to stop and re-consider who I am/have become in a moment that is here/has always been here to not immediately/instantaneously self-create this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am a victim, I am a victim to myself at the end of the day for what I allow to do everything in my delusional power to not realize what it means to actually self-realize who I am/could be, therefore, I allow myself to get real with myself to in-fact see, realize/understand that it was always myself that was "making me" experience myself to purposely/deliberately taking everything personally to remain a mere slave stuck in my own box of/as constant limitation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someone brining forth a practical-insight that I've unconsciously placed/projected extensive fear throughout the years that I will actually immediately/instantaneously self-create this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am a victim to the point and/or person or situation, because I am in actuality in-fact in defense mode to what I've so much suppressed/bottled up emotions to the point that I will act accordingly, meaning I will take the point and/or person or whatever is bringing up the point in the first place to do everything in my delusional power to not have a self-realization, therefore, I now, see, realize and understand that if I continuously live my life fearing who I am/could be and ultimately must be to create Heaven on Earth is completely pointless/meaningless/useless/hopeless, because I can never/will never be able to hide/suppress my self-responsibility to myself/others as myself/this world and reality/existence, I thus bring myself back to the inevitable, myself, therefore, I stop purposely/deliberately accumulating energy that will only prolong my process in the end to ever in-fact realize who I am/have become to get real within and as myself to no longer remain a victim to myself to slowly but surely stand up for what I've inevitably must face in the end, MYSELF - All of Me, therefore, All of Life.
To Be Continued...