I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to blame/become angry at some God that never existed in the first place because I thought/believed that someone must of created us and so they must be responsible for what is her in this physical reality (apparently) wherein I was only abdicating my own self-responsibility because I hoped/put faith into a being outside myself because I didn't in anyway understand that since we're all here in this physical reality we are very much responsible for what happens/doesn't happen because I'm actually very much aware that this world/reality is a mirror image of what we as human beings have become - within this I never had taken into consideration that the thoughts inside my mind are a reflection to what is here because its quite obvious that the thoughts I have are evil in all ways possible no matter what value/definition I placed/projected because all my allowances come back to the same starting-point of not caring about this world/reality because I have placed my value and definition to my mind to the extent wherein I would place/project hope/faith onto a benevolent God that will save our asses because I have always assumed/perceived that God is responsible - therefore - I have allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility to the extent that I would sit on my ass and react in anger/blame that I'm not in anyways responsible for what is here and so I have the power to remain fucking with myself that I'm the victim - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that purposely placing/projecting my emotional reactions of blame/anger is pointless/meaningless because at the end I only justified/excused myself to sit on my ass for hours and hours to the point that I would react/experience blame/anger and so I never had taken into consideration that this is merely another confirmation of how much I've enslaved/limited myself to my reactions to do anything in my delusional power to maintain my abdication to support Life in all ways possible - I do not accept or allow myself to continuously sit on my ass for some God to save me miraculously - when and as I see myself reacting in anger/blame to/towards God not fixing this world/reality, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I have merely projecting outward to how I was actually seeing myself because I knew within myself that I was in actuality reacting in anger/blame because I absolutely hated myself/blamed myself to how this world/reality is and so I would use/abuse this whole God concept to hide/suppress how I'm actually seeing my own abdication to stand up for Life in all ways to crate a Life as All as One as Equal.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the blame/anger I was experiencing/participating in had absolutely nothing to do with God but myself to understand that I was projecting all my shit outward to not realize that these reactions are a mirror image of how I have came to absolutely hate/become angry at myself to how I'm doing nothing but sit on my ass all day to never take action to create a world that is Best for All - within this all the hate/anger that I spew at God was actually in essence a defense mechanism to continue playing the game that I have nothing to do with what is here in this physical reality - to continue playing the game that I'm always the victim and so that gives me the power to always remain hiding/suppressing the fact that I have chose to participate in my own self-interest to actually do anything that is Best for All as All as One as Equal - therefore - what I'm in essence doing is looking/searching/finding/seeking anything possible that will somehow redeem me for sitting on my ass for someone/something outside myself because I apparently have nothing to do with this world/reality to continue trying/attempting/attaining to look for something/someone that will justify/excuse me to do everything in my delusional power to remain participating in my self-interest to the point wherein I will do everything possible to remain a slave/CharACTer that I will create some benevolent God that will save us someday because apparently God has always and only been responsible for Life - I now see, realize and understand that thinking/believing in God has merely been my perfect scapegoat to forevermore remain a slave/CharACTer because in no way considered Life but always my own self-interest to maintain my enslavement/limitation to the extent wherein I would react in blame/anger to the extent that I would think/believe that its entirely God's responsibility to save us in this world/reality - within this I had never considered/taken into consideration that it absolutely had nothing to do with God but myself to understand that since I'm here in every moment of every breath ( rather aware of unaware) I'm always here - therefore - I'm absolutely responsible to get off my ass to create a World that could be/must be a World that is Best for All Life - I do not accept or allow myself to wait/waste time for some God because at the moment human beings are God because were in every possible to create Life on Earth - therefore - When and as I see myself experiencing/participating in anger/blame, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that when I'm participating in anger/blame I stop and apply the 4 count breath because I'm in all ways responsible for what is here because I have always been here to create something worthwhile on Earth to wherein I can reach my true potential to be worthy of Life to understand that God is never coming for us and so its time for us to be and become our own Gods to understand that we are/have always been the Creators and its time we Created a Life worthwhile for the children to come.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when/as I'm participating/experiencing anger/blame I'm actually perpetuating/compounding the abuse to continue because I did not consider/take into consideration that the moment I allow myself to limit/enslave myself to emotional reactions of anger/blame I'm in essence already confirming that there is no God because if in some other fucked up Universe God apparently existed we would have not have the abuse we see walking on this planet because the reactions that we experience/participate on a daily-basis are a confirmation of how fucked up we become when it even becomes difficult to understand that its time for us to take our power back to ourselves and take self-responsibility - within this I would blind myself by/through anger/blame to the extent that I thought/believed that I'm absolutely not responsible in any shape/form and so I would continue sit on my ass wait/waste/postpone Life/Process to the point wherein I would absolutely think/believe that its all God's fault for why/how the world has become full of chaos and destruction - therefore - I had never considered/taken into consideration that the chaos we see in this world/reality is a mirror image of what we become and so its time for the destruction to STOP because we must DE-CONSTRUCT ourselves out of our minds and into the physical to wherein seeing what is here becomes apparent and not full of idea/beliefs/judgments/assumption/perceptions/reactions wherein Life can actually be seen within ourselves in every moment of every breath wherein Life becomes apparent - I now see, realize and understand that I was merely blinding myself to the extent that I didn't understand the actuality of this reality because I have never taken into consideration that the value of Life MUST always be Life and not my ideas/beliefs/judgments/assumptions of what Life should/shouldn't and that included placing/projecting hope/faith to/towards a benevolent God that never existed in the first place - therefore - its up to us to STOP and realize that we must be the benevolent ones to create a World that is Best for All Life - I do not accept or allow myself to continuously placing/projecting God as the one that is always responsible for what is here in this physical reality - therefore - When and as I see myself blinding myself to the abuse in this world/reality wherein it becomes difficult to even see the motivation within and as me, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that when/as it becomes difficult to see the motivation within and as me I take a breath and understand that motivation cannot be found outside self because self knows what self has become in every moment of every breath and so motivation is ludicrous because the reactions such as anger/blame to/towards God for not saving us is a cool motivation point for me to understand that I have been/always been placing/projecting hope/faith into and as some God because I never actually trusted myself to be and become my own God to direct myself in every moment of every breath to Create Life for All as One as Equal: NO GOD NEEDED!!!!!
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