This is a continuation to Day 35: What Have I Done To Myself...
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When and as I see myself shoving pieces of information into and as my mind without understanding what it is I'm actually learning in the first place, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that if we continuously remain not asking questions in this world/reality, then we remain complete idiots to what is happening in this physical reality, and so I allow myself to understand that its the starting-point of placing/projecting complete trust in this world-system that screws us over because we have taught ourselves to suppress/hide the fear that we experience and participate in about this world/reality - in this we have always been aware of the abuse because we even do it to ourselves and so we remove ourselves from this physical reality by/through placing/projecting ourselves into these boxes for ourselves to remain in LaLa Land because were too busy (apparently) THINKING - therefore - I commit myself to stand up within and as myself to take a moment to be/become self-aware of my breathing because I allow myself to not sit back within and as myself but to stand up because I do not accept or allow myself to enslave/limit myself to this physical reality because I have enslaved/limited myself to ever in-fact live - in this I would purposely/deliberately remain participating and experiencing myself as the thoughts I have to remain thinking/believing that this is all I am or will ever be - I commit myself to remain stable because I allow myself to actually think by/through not thinking because thinking is what allowed me to get into all this mess because all it takes is one thought to forevermore remain just another slave, and so I take this one breath because one breath can allow me to become self-aware of who I am/could be because I take the stance within and as myself that I CAN change myself to in-fact Re-Birth myself here in this life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that thoughts are Life because I have bought into the idea/belief/perception/assumption that thoughts create Life - in this I have not considered/taken into consideration that thoughts have actually allowed me to create a Life that is a Lie because my entire LIfE has been a bucket full of lies, and so I have justified/excused myself to ever in-fact not take self-responsibility for the Lie I have been living - therefore - I would self-create the idea/belief/perception/assumption that Life can actually be lived when/as all what I'm doing is fueling/powering a Lie, and so I actually assume/perceive that Life can be lived when there are billions of people in this world/reality barely even living - within this my Lie has been conditioned to mere justifications/excuses to in-fact create Life on Earth to in-fact understand that as long as I'm deliberately/purposely suppressing/hiding from the fact that THINKING has allowed me to be/become a mere machine consumed by/through FEAR because its not a LifE I've been living - ONLY some fucked up version of LifE that only involved in complete petrification of my own FEAR, I mean, I don't know anything about life and what it means to be alive here in this moment - I don't understand what an actual opportunity it is to be here in this physical reality, and so my LifE has been filled with Lies to remain a Liar because I chose/made the decision to live in complete petrification of my own FEAR to not in-fact understand that I have the choice/decision to actually create Life on Earth by/through cooperating/working together as a group to actually LIVE for the first time ever - in this I now take my power back to understand that if I'm not doing this for myself then I MUST walk this process of Equality & Oneness for those that are actually suffering in this world because if that's not a motivational point to in-fact actually know that everything is just some fucked up Lie to never Live in the first place then I'm just abdicating my responsibility to what I knew I could've done in this Life if I actually chose/made the decision to in-fact Live for Life - to actually create Life.
When and as I see myself continuously lying to myself to create the Life that was nothing more and nothing less then a Lie, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that my LIfE has been for nothing because I didn't in anyway create anything worthwhile for ALL that will actually support Life, and so I'm already dead because how can I even exist when/as I'm only continuing maintaining my self-interest that the LIE I have lived was actually Life in the first place? I commit myself to STOP lying to myself because being some self-interested asshole is not what I want to be and living a Life that never really existed in the first place is unacceptable - therefore - I allow myself to be alive for the first time because continuing my Life thinking not considering anyone or even myself for that matter is completely pointless and in the end it was suiting nothing but to continue this abuse in this physical reality to remain in complete petrification of my own FEAR - Is this really all what I am capable of being?
To Be Continued...
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