This is a continuation to Day 33 - Why Does Society Want us to Conform and Not Think?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame/become angry at my Parents because they raised me to know nothing/never nothing anything about myself and who I am within and as this Life - therefore - I would teach myself to suppress/hide from the FEAR to ever see, realize and understand that I'm the one at the end of the day that decides what goes on within and as myself - I decide what I do/don't participate in a moment and so blaming/becoming angry at my Parents is ludicrous because I understand that if I'm not willing to forgive another as myself absolutely and unconditionally then I'm just another system/program/CharACTer that lives in complete petrification of my own FEAR because I won't will myself to change from a mere idea/belief that since I've been born to carry the purpose/destiny to remain nothing more and nothing less then a system/program/CharACTer I can't apparently stand up as All as One as Equal, I mean, I'm the one that has limited/enslaved myself to be/become a slave and so that was something that I decided in every moment of every breath - therefore - since it has taken my quite a lot of time to build up to be/become a mere machine its going to take me quite a lot of time to re-birth myself here within and as this physical reality - NO RESISTANCE - I now see, realize and understand that time is completely pointless/meaningless because I don't allow myself to be/become a slave to being/becoming inferior to time because I do not limit myself to how many seconds/minutes/hours there are throughout one day because my reference is my human physical body to understand that when I'm fucking with and as myself the pain will reveal itself to understand when I'm screwing with myself or not - I now see, realize and understand that blaming/becoming angry at my Parents is pointless/meaningless because I now understand just how much time I have lost to actually being/becoming aware of every breath as myself - therefore - I do NOT accept or allow myself to blame/become angry at my Parents because I allow myself to forgive them unconditionally as I would want someone else to forgive me for all my faults that I have become throughout time to never in-fact realize Equality & Oneness to taking into consideration everyone.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have NOT been the one that decides who I am/I'm able to be because my apparent Life has/always been automated by/through a mere machine because I made the choice/decision to be dishonest - to not be the Creator that Created my world/reality because it was never me, it was me but not the true potential I could actually be/become - within this I would sit back within and as myself because I was scared/afraid of what would happen if I actually was the one that is directing my world/reality because all I have ever known was living the generations before me because self-honesty was never a part of my Destiny/Purpose because I was taught to sit down and shut up from the ones before me to trust to in actuality know nothing/have never known anything about what it means to actually be alive - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that its time for myself to be/become the self-directive principle within and as my Life because if I'm not that one that is the Creator that Creates my world/reality then I'm not the one that is directing my Life in the first place - I do NOT accept or allow myself to continue fucking with myself that everything is fine and dandy when in actuality I'm not reaching my true potential but subjecting my power to a system/program/CharACTer merely because its never been done before - Soooo what?! - When and as I see myself not being/becoming the self-directive principle of my Life, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I was never the one living my Life but a system because the entire time I was sitting back within and as myself because I was so afraid/scared of what would happen if I were to actually take action to be here in every moment of every breath - I was so afraid of myself to actually in-fact no longer be/become my biggest enemy because all throughout my Life I would actually so whatever it takes to hate myself to NOT change myself to the point that I assumed/perceived that I cannot be/become the Creator that Creates my world/reality because apparently I deserve to merely be a system/program/CharACTer - in this I'm DIS-SERVING Life because I have created this idea/belief that one must be/become something in order to change this world/reality, I mean, this entire starting-point of giving up on ourselves has been all what we been doing and we actually call this a natural part of Life because it allows us to apparently push more, wherein - all what were pushing for is our survival to never in-fact live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK because I absolutely got off on the energy that I would participate and experience myself as - by/through placing/projecting everything in some fucked up future version of which system/personality/CharACTer I should act out in the moment, except I was only in some delusional reality that only existed was my self-interest to NOT take action to decide/make the choice to breathe and simply NOT THINK - within this I would go into my mind saying, "WTF, it can't be that easy"! I'm in actuality in my mind because when everything becomes harder/difficult and bigger then myself that's when I'm participating and experiencing myself as a mere system/program/CharACTer because process has always been as easy as breathing - therefore - I would then assume/perceive that stopping thinking and just being here is impossible because I would completely analyze/interpret/intellectualize what it means to be/become Life and so I didn't understand that Life is here in every moment of every breath, and so no thinking is required - I now see, realize and understand that THINKING has actually stopped me from taking action in a moment to no longer have a dimensional shift a place/project myself in some fucked up future version of which system/program/CharACTer I should act out in the moment - I do NOT accept or allow myself to assume/perceive that process must be something hard/difficult to walk because I walk myself here as All as One as Equal to in-fact no longer assume/perceive that everything must be hard and difficult to survive within and as this world/reality - When and as I see myself participating in the backchat, "WTF, it can't be that easy"! - I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I was purposely/deliberately fucking with myself because my survival instinct kicked in and I assumed/perceived that I MUST THINK in order to get something done in a moment to create something worthwhile that actually supported Life from the get go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see, realize and understand that THINKING is not what I need or require to survive in this world/reality because my brain already does that for me to complete the essentials I need and require to survive, and so thinking was a defense mechanism to understand that the thoughts within and as me actually allow me to NOT survive in this world/reality because getting things done throughout ones day is difficult/hard when one is having numerous dimensional shifts throughout the day - therefore - I was in actuality bullshitting myself the entire time because I wanted/desired to cover up/suppress the fact that my brain is what allows me to move my body to get what I need/requite to actually get done - I now see, realize and understand that THINKING actually allows self to not survive in this world/reality because I would be too busy in LaLa Land to actually NOT see, realize and understand I wasn't comprehending/understanding absolutely nothing about what it means to actually Live and what I actually have to do to survive in this world/reality - I do NOT accept or allow myself to fuck with myself to assume/perceive that I must participate and experience myself as these thoughts running rampant because these thoughts at the end of the day weren't providing me with the essentials to survive but remain some self-interested idiot that never understood anything about Life.
To Be Continued...