Day 32 - God, No!: Signs You May Already Be A Bullshitter
Thinking was/has always been something that I have assumed/perceived allowed me to have understanding/comprehension to/towards this world/reality, wherein - I deceived myself the entire time because thinking actually allowed me to separate myself from the substance/life within and as me because I accepted what my parents taught me and so the Sins of the Fathers began as my pre-programmed purpose/Destiny to molding/shaping the characterization that my parents integrated within and as me at birth - therefore - I would look at the pretty systems/personalities/CharACTers and decide which program would be best for me to use to survive within this world/reality - therefore - I would no longer be the one that decides who I am/I'm able to be because my apparent Life would be automated by/through a mere machine because I made the choice/decision to be dishonest - to not be the Creator that Created my world/reality because it was never me, it was me but not the true potential I could actually be to be/become my own teacher because I placed/projected my trust to my Parents that in actuality know nothing/have never know anything throughout their LIfE because it was always in the starting-point of complete petrification of the fear that they were participating and experiencing themselves as - therefore - they would teach myself how to suppress/hide from the FEAR, and so I allow myself to see, realize and understand that blaming/becoming angry at my Parents is completely pointless/meaningless because at the end of the day I'm the one that decides who I am//could be and so I allow myself to forgive my Parents unconditionally because if not myself then I will be CONTrolled by/through the systems/personalities/CharACTers automated to allow me to be/become a slave for eternity - therefore - Thinking has become nothing more and nothing less then myself placing/projecting everything in some fucked up future version of which system/personality/CharACTer I should act out in the moment, except it was never in the moment but in my mind not taking action to decide/make the choice to breathe and simply NOT THINK, I mean its that simple for myself to walk this process of Equality & Oneness and so when/as I'm in my mind saying, "WTF, It can't be that easy"! I'm in actuality in my mind because when everything becomes hard/difficult to walk that's when I'm accepting myself as a mere system/CharACTer/personality because process is as easy as breathing - NO MORE THINKING!!!!!! Thinking has always been the survival-instinct to cover up/suppress the fact that my brain is what allows me to move my body and so the essentials to survive within and as this world/reality, and so the thoughts have been my little defense mechanism that I won't be able to live without thinking shit that wasn't relevant in the first place, I mean, there has been so much attention to thinking that we connect it to intelligence or not thinking too much apparently means your some fucking idiot for some reason - only I never had understood that thinking literally makes us pretty dumb because we go into our mind and self-create all these scenarios that usually never get done in the first place because we think/believe that WE MUST SURVIVE!!!! Thinking has always been this scenario for myself that I must rationalize everything within and as my mind for what I should/shouldn't do and so I be/become my own worst enemy in the end because I wasn't actually getting my ass out of my mind to this physical reality to actually do something - therefore - its time for myself to simply express myself in the moment because all in all I'm the one that is fucking with myself that surviving equates to thinking shit that's never relevant in the first place to simply express myself in the moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in THINKING to such an extent that I separated myself from substance/life within and as me because I assumed/perceive that THINKING was the only for me to have comprehension/understanding to/towards this world/reality - within this I didn't allow myself to understand anything about this world/reality because I was blinding/clouding my eyes to this physical reality because the comprehension/understanding I was aiming for/projecting myself to be/become was only be/becoming a system/program/personality/CharACTer -therefore - the more I actually thought the more I was detaching myself/removing myself from this world/reality as the thoughts become more consistent I would lose sight of Life because I was never having any comprehension/understanding for I was never taking taking practical physical application to what I was understanding/comprehending as I was only learning to have dimensional shifts about this world/reality that only lead to more program/personality/CharACTer activations that was integrated within and as me from my Parents to lead to the fucked up cycle of the Sins of the Fathers - I mean, if I did actually gather any comprehension/understanding from this world/reality I would've got my head out of my thoughts to this physical reality that I was only trying/attaining/attempting to understand/comprehend this world/reality as some fucked up brainwashed observer stuck within and as knowledge/information because I was allowing myself to understand/comprehend absolutely nothing because it was always about regurgitating shit in my mind to never in-fact create a solution for I allowed myself to THINK my way through life trying/attaining/attempting to find a solution to Life, wherein - in-fact being/becoming more and more detached from the actuality of this physical reality - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I'm deliberately/purposely living my apparent Life based on these thoughts to try/attain/attempt to find some comprehension/understanding that was/has always been here and so I was actually losing sight of Life as my thoughts became a part of myself to such an extent that I actually deceived/believed myself that I was understanding/comprehending what is happening in this world/reality - therefore - I do NOT accept or allow myself to continue screw myself over because of THINKING that I MUST THINK in order to understand this world/reality - I now see, realize and understand that comprehension/understanding is ludicrous because everything was always here for myself to realize that its time to STOP THINKING because I was in actuality removing myself from the actual solution that is Equality & Oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that the FEAR that my Parents taught me is to be my purpose/Destiny in this Life because it was only been they have known/all I have ever known - therefore - I limited/enslaved myself to who my Parents were or weren't to carry on the Sins of the Fathers to NOT actually investigate that my entire LIfE has been a sham because I would spend my entire LIfE within and as THINKING to mould/shape the pretty systems/personalities/programs/CharACters and decide which program would be best for me to use/abuse to survive within this world/reality - therefore - to never see, realize and understand that my purpose/Destiny was nothing more and nothing less then a pre-programmed path laid out for me to live out to never question because picking out my Characterization has always been what this world/reality has known to base our lives on survival of the fetus because it has allowed us to never be the self-directive principle of our lives - I mean, our entire LIfE has already been mapped out and all what we have to do is live it out without any question and so were not even the ones that are living in the first place because a system/personality/program/CharACTer had become us to the point that all what we had to do was sit back within and as ourselves to allow the systems/personalities/programs/CharACTers do all the work in automation - I now see, realize and understand that my entire purpose/Destiny wasn't my own but the systems/programs/CharACTers running rampant to spend my entire LIfE within and as THINKING moulding/shaping myself to a mere system that was in actuality the perfect scapegoat for myself to never take responsibility to in-fact change because I got to survive and spend my entire LIfE sitting in the background to the programs running systematically and energetically to the point that it becomes natural and a part of LIfE - I do NOT accept or allow myself to continue think/believe that not being/becoming the self-directive principle of my life is unnatural and impossible because I have given my power away to a program that became a part of my Characterization to continue surviving in this world/reality - I now understand that be/becoming a CharACTer without compromising myself in the process is possible to continue the process of Life - No more dirty little tricks!!!!!
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when TRUST is realized equal to/towards as Equality & Oneness then TRUST no longer is required/subjected to placing/projecting my TRUST to my Parents that in the end were just as clueless as myself because they in actuality known nothing/have never known anything about who they are within and as their lives because it was always in the starting-point of complete petrification of the FEAR that they were participating and experiencing themselves as - to never see, realize and understand that the FEAR was what stopped ourselves from actually to never take self-responsibility to in-fact accumulate self-trust - NO JUDGEMENT - therefore - there can never be any/will never be able to be anyone to blame/become angry at because I allow myself to release my mind-shit to understand that our Destiny/Purpose of continuing the Sins of the Fathers is ludicrous because I place unconditional self-forgiveness to/towards everyone because I place TRUST in myself to understand the Desteni of Life - I now see, realize and understand that TRUST can only ever/will ever be able to be accumulated to understand that nothing is ever personal because its simply all we ever allowed ourselves to be/become - allowing ourselves to never investigate/research that Equality & Oneness implies taking always into consideration what is Best for All and so when TRUST is realized equal to/towards as Equality & Oneness then FEAR is redundant because its Lie is Equal and so FEAR was only/has only ever been another part/aspect of ourselves to justify/excuse ourselves to understand that when TRUST is unconditional it is simply ludicrous to place/project fault in anyone, I mean - playing the whole resentment game is easy to/towards hating the Parents because all we ever known is living in FEAR to cover up/suppress that its time to in-fact place trust in ourselves to NOT rust ourselves to death to our true potential - to in-fact realize that everyone can have an opportunity to realize TRUST as true Equality & Oneness that has always been a part of Life.
To Be Continued...