Day 28: Of course God is Pro-Life

This is a continuation to Day 27: It's ALL God's Fault
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that if I don't believe in God then I will be punished in excruciating painful ways because I allowed myself to think/believe that God is the only way - within this I would imagine/project to a mere illusion to what would/wouldn't happen if I stopped believing in God because I would then fear what would/wouldn't happen if I somehow was fucking with myself that God was real and so when I would die God would be severely pissed off at me because I didn't believe in him when/as I was on Earth and that all the pain I went through was a test to see if I would still place/project faith/hope in God - therefore - I would time-loop to continuously think/believe that God is the only way because my starting-point was FEAR and so I would do everything in my delusional power to be/become a good little CharACTer because I didn't want to be punished in a excruciating torturous way - I now see, realize and understand that my entire starting-point of believing in God was FEAR to do everything to not face the consequences/punishment and so I have never connected the dots that if God was this benevolent being we wouldn't be facing our consequences/punishment within/as a starting point of complete petrification to merely seeing, realizing and understanding our self-responsibility within and as facing consequences/punishment by/through a starting-point of complete petrification is in essence another control tactic defense mechanism and is not in anyway showing/revealing the actualities of self-responsibility but a time-loop to thinking/believing God is going to basically guilt trip our asses to continue enslaving/limiting ourselves to a mere idea/belief of what does/doesn't happen in the After Life - I now see, realize and understand that what does/doesn't happen in the After Life is ludicrous because I was merely placing/projecting what I don't know as a control tactic to remain a mere slave/CharACTer because I was too busy worrying about what is/isn't going to happen in the After Life to the extent wherein I would live my Li (f) e in a complete starting-point of FEAR because of thinking/believing that if I don't think/believe that God is the only way that I will be punished in excruciating pain - therefore - I never considered now much pain my human physical body goes through on a daily-basis from my petrification of FEAR that I live throughout my day to day basis and so I was too busy focusing on what would happen/might happen instead of actually looking at what I can do in this very moment - to make the most of every single breath to finally decide who I am/could be - to finally in-fact make a decision that stands for Life - therefore - I do not accept or allow myself to continue fucking with myself that God is real and that if I don't believe that God is the only way that I will go through excruciating pain and so I allow myself to understand that my physical body and those that are suffering throughout the world are going through pain and so my whining/complaining backchat is pointless/meaningless because it never considered the actualities of pain that is happening here as I'm typing out these words.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that God has never/will never give a fuck about any of us as this physical reality is a confirmation that we must be our own Gods because all what we been doing is creating these what if scenarios within and as ourselves to stop ourselves to have a look at what we have become - within this whenever I would take a moment to seriously consider what is happening to this world/reality there would be this voice that I would allow that God will be severely pissed off and make me go through a lot pain and so I never considered/taken into consideration the pain that is occurring throughout the world and within and as ourselves because we have limited/enslaved ourselves to such an extent that we live in a starting-point of complete petrification of our own FEAR to maintain our illusion/delusion to remain fucking with ourselves for absolutely nothing - to merely remain worshipping some fucked up God that never existed in the first place - I now see, realize and understand that the FEAR I self-created was a scapegoat to always live my Li (f)e as though God will just reach out through and as the clouds and punish me and so I never had investigated that I was living my LIfE to a God that couldn't ever/never exist because how we as human beings have become and this physical reality is but another confirmation that there has never/ever been any God and so its time for us to become our own Gods - I do not accept or allow myself to continuously live my LIfE in a starting-point of complete petrification of my own FEAR that I created to purposely/deliberately spend my LIfE out of FEAR to continue fucking with myself my entire LIfE worrying about the next big thing I do will be dissected by God - therefore - I have never considered that what I do/don't do has everything to do with LIFE to how I will spend my time in this Earth to create a Life that is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to ever consider/take into consideration what is Best for All Life because I was too busy worrying about each and every action being good enough/not good enough for some God that was only self-created in my mind because I thought/believed that if I wasn't a good little CharACTer that God would put me through a torturous punishment/consequence at Death and so I never had spent every each and every action on what is Best for All Life wherein I must be self-honest to not continuously live my LIfE living out in complete petrification of my own FEAR because I was too busy focusing on the After Life and not what is Best for All Life - within this I never understood that myself wasting/waiting/postponing my Life/Process has nothing to do with God but to always live my life as though it will end in any moment because this physical reality is unexpected to who will and won't die because we all were too busy creating Gods within and as our minds to save ourselves apparently from self-responsibility and so we chose to live our lives throughout the starting-point of complete petrification of our own FEAR because we have been hiding/suppressing what it is were actually afraid of - therefore - this entire time all what I was fearing was myself to actually trust myself to no longer live my LIfE worrying about being something for someone because I now, see, realize and understand that its all I been doing throughout my Life/Process - trying/attaining/attempting to live my LIfE for someone because I have always been scared shitless to just be with myself to no longer live my LIfE for some God that never gave a fuck in the first place - I do not accept or allow myself to waste/wait for some God that never in the end had taken in the majority into account and so the only way for there to be no more FEAR to no longer live our LIvES in complete petrification of our own FEAR is to be our own Gods to understand that the only way for this world to work is a Life Equal for All wherein nobody will be governed by FEAR but a Life that is certain to be lived and expressed no matter what.

Related articles

• Day 116: The War Within in the Name of God
• Science and religion
• At the Dawn of Spiritual Enlightenment - Swami Rama
• Free from Emotional Pain

Day 26: How Great Is Our God?!

This is a continuation to Day 25: GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that God will reward us for the pain that we experience/participate in purposely/deliberately to gain/receive some reward/compensation for keeping our faith/hope, sort of speak - when in actuality all what we were doing was finding something/someone outside ourselves to get somewhere/receive/gain something for our own self-interest because we never take into consideration what is best for all - therefore - what we then do is prioritize our time-management to what will purposely allow us to win something/someone for our self-interest and so I never had taken into consideration what is best for all life - to do anything possible to allow this world to be and become a world that is best for all life because I was too busy waiting/wasting time/Life/Process because of thinking/believing God will save me from all this pain and since I'm not apparently giving on myself because I'm still being scared shitless of actually trusting myself - I then I allow myself to remain perpetuating/compounding the point that I'm always the one at the end of the day that is fucking up my Life because of a mere idea/belief that somehow our pain will be worthwhile and we will be rewarded for our faithfulness when were suffering - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I was merely only considering what is best for myself to fuel/power my self-interest to do everything in my delusional power to remain thinking/believing God must save us because were suffering all this pain, I mean let's say in some other fucked of universe that God existed and we actually continued to push through our pain because of God to gain/receive something then this is just a mere confirmation of how we have fucked up our starting-point to always want/desire something because of getting somewhere/receive/gain something - I do not accept or allow myself to continuously think/believe that God is going to save our asses because of placing/projecting faith/hope onto some illusionary being outside ourselves that was actually ourselves from the very beginning - meaning, we were the ones that we were waiting for because we knew all along that we were already giving up on ourselves in every possible way because of never placing trust to/towards ourselves, AS ourselves - For ourselves to give ourselves back to ourselves.

When and as I see myself participating in self-interest to maintain my enslavement/limitation/CharACTers in relation to wanting/desiring compensation to/towards pain, I stop and I breathe I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that if the people that are suffering from famine (etc) are going through so much pain then wouldn't that imply that God is one nasty fucker because he is in no way rewarding/giving compensation to/towards the ones that are living in preposterous situations and if we assume/perceive there is some sort of test we are stating that Earth is a test of winning/losing to continue allowing pain - therefore - this is merely perpetuating/compounding the abuse in this world to always place/project pain as this euphoria that is going to apparently allow ourselves to not give up on ourselves - not see, realizing and understanding that we as human beings have given up on ourselves quite some time ago because the mere fact that were using/abusing pain as this mental-masturbation to continue thinking/believing some God is going to save us is just another confirmation of how fucked up we've become.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that assuming/perceiving that if we're all Saints that everything will be fine and dandy because we placed our hope/faith onto something outside of ourselves to save our asses from the pain, that someday someone/something will save the ones that did everything in their delusional power to push through their mind illusion that if we just keep on pushing through over and over again that eventually someone/something will come to save us - therefore - I never had taken into consideration that we as human beings have been having this mind-set for generations to generations that someday someone/something will magically help us because we were too busy participating/experiencing hope/faith that one day someone may care enough to save us because of thinking/believing there is reason/purpose for why/how everything has become so fucked up to the point wherein we think/believe that we did something wrong along the way - within this we never considered/taken into consideration that its not about being wrong/right but looking at the simply patterns of human beings throughout the years to understand that all what we been doing is sitting on our asses, hoping for someone to save our asses because we knew along that we were responsible/are responsible because we wouldn't of hidden/suppressed the point of waiting/wasting/postponing our lives to maintain the Lies of remaining another slave/CharACTer because that's all we ever known - I now see, realize and understand that playing the game of the generations in the past is pointless/meaningless because this isn't just about standing up to change myself for my own puny self-interest its about changing myself as All as One as Equal for the many children to come - therefore - ONE LIFE can change many more in the future for children to have the certainty to express themselves unconditionally and we must ask ourselves the question would I want the children to come be placed in my position that I am now in this world/reality or even being in the position wherein there are many living their lives with no basics to survive and that's Life to them - Is this acceptable?

When and as I see myself placing faith/hope into someone/something saving our asses to all the pain, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that it was never about myself but myself as All as One as Equal to bring about a world that is Best for All, wherein - the certainty to live here in this physical reality is absolute because at the moment children everyday are being abused in so many ways and we consider this a way of Life - therefore - I allow myself to apply the 4-count breath because this is not about myself trying/attaining/attempting to be forgiven by God to receive some compensation/reward because this process is about ourselves realizing the actual potential of who we are/could be to Re-Birth ourselves not only for ourselves but ourselves as those that cannot give as they would like to receive because of not having the resources to walk this process of walking out of the mind and into the physical - Therefore, its up to us to stand for All as One as Equal - breath by breath - step by step - A Process of Accumulation.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider/take into consideration that since I have always been fortunate enough to grow up in a family with the essentials to live that I am responsible for the children to come to not have to play the reward game to hope/put faith into someone/something because of not willing ourselves to reward ourselves to give ourselves Life because I was too busy creating a Utopia within and as my mind that God was going to come and save us all that are good (apparently) and fuck the rest of everyone because of course I only care about my self-interest to gain some sort of compensation/reward for being an abusive fucker - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that this world/reality when/as living in the Elite it can be quite easy to blind yourself by/through all the Utopia shit that I spew because I disliked this world/reality so much that I didn't stand up to change to for future generations to come because I was too busy playing the game of you scratch my back I scratch yours because I never gave a fuck about anyone else but maintaining my self-interest to get what I want/desire - I do not accept or allow myself to continue playing these ideas/beliefs of what Life should/shouldn't be because I was too busy doing everything in my delusional power to detach myself from what is actually happening in this world/reality to the extent wherein I would put faith/hope into come God that will absolutely love me so much because I played his game to finally win all my prizes for pushing through the pain - therefore - the only thing I was actually doing was pushing away the pain because all I wanted to do was stay as far away from myself as possible to not see into myself because I knew what I've become.

Related articles

• Day 116: The War Within in the Name of God
• Day 109: For the Love of God
• Day 86: Opportunity of Innocence
• Science and religion