DAY 73: Less Is More

~Picture of me writing out looooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another.
~Picture of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me sitting at the computer, comparing myself to all the other Destonian's writings
~Picture of me sitting at my computer, writing out points that I am not integrating to the best of my ability.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face, when I am finished for the day.
~Picture of me falling asleep in the middle of writing.

~Picture of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to fully consider and realize that an image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face is only my mind - thus I realize that there are no shooooort points or loooong points - but what is in fact here in each and every moment, in each and every breath, that which will not lead to an inevitable character of compromise/abuse/sabotage - instead - I recreate myself here in each myself to no longer purposely/deliberately lose a perfect chance/opportunity to see who I am, within and as writing myself to freedom, for real, in fact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought as image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face, to exist within and as me - especially and specifically in relation to trying/attaining to utilize this thought as the perfect scapegoat for myself to no longer write myself out, and thus manipulating myself that I might as well give up because I have projected writing shoooooort points as myself being/becoming lazy/undisciplined.

Within this - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow an image within and as my mind signify that I am apparently lazy/undisciplined, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of what makes or breaks someone to be lazy/undisciplined - and thus due to holding onto these memories I created/generated an experience of self-judgment when/as I am writing myself out, thus refusing to see/realize/understand that the experience of self-judgment is not in actuality a solution, but the fact that I am manipulating myself within and as self-judgment because I've no matter if my writing was long or short, I was defining from something outside myself
- as I now see, realize and understand that no matter the quantity of my writing, I focus on the quality of who I am within and as writing - to in fact integrate my realizations to actually walk the talk - to no longer squander a chance/opportunity to re-create myself here in this one life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist writing myself to freedom because I have convoluted writing into/as a point of either writing loooooong points or shooooort points - and thus within this would miss the actual chance/opportunity it is to write myself out, in the first place - not seeing/realizing/understanding that it is quite a chance/opportunity to even have the choice/decision to write myself out or not - to actually judge myself within and as my writing or not - because I have allowed writing myself out became self-sabotage - a point that which I found only self-judgment in, I have used to diminish me, I have NOT used to actually assist/support, I have NOT used to integrate the knowledge/information to in fact be/become a realization to walk my talk - as I now see, realize and understand how I talked myself into/as my mind to not simply see writing as it is, and thus actually LIVE what writing should actually be HERE within and as this world/reality - to in fact walk the talk - to create a platform of writing that doesn't involve self-judgment, in that to LIVE for REAL - to create a solution by/through writing myself to freedom, that which will actually bring about true freedom, True Freedom that involves All as One as Equal.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to self-honestly admit to myself that being self-judging the picture-presentation of my writing being categorized as short/long because the starting point within all that I ever written was never FOR self, and thus I would place my writings into boxes for myself to never in fact stand, as it was never writing myself to freedom to begin with, but was based on separation from the whole within my starting-point to not LIVE self-honesty - as I now see, realize and understand that it's not about what I am NOT Living, but what I am currently living as, because anyone can spend their lives living for an immense amount of years and never realize the chance/opportunity it is to not give into/as self-judgment - because I've allowed my entire Life to be filled within/as placing myself into boxes that only revolved around limitation/enslavement - not seeing/realizing/understanding that this was just another judgment that I used/abused to squander my chance/opportunity to in fact LIVE.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to self-honestly face the extent to which I have limited/enslaved myself to place myself in boxes, that only ever involved seeing any door of opportunity to see something that I must mind-project to place into/as categories, wherein I had taken writing as an energetic game for my ego so that I would not have to face myself within and as writing, for real, believing that I could continuously live out writing as knowledge/information - yet, the knowledge/information never in fact was living in the first place to live out, as I was not actuality valuing nor caring about or for myself in anyway, but instead only remained squandering each door of opportunity, such as writing - to in fact live for real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stepping out of character within and as writing, because then I would have to trust myself that I would UN-MASK the characters that exist within and as me, and that I would stand up until Life has in fact assisted/supported ALL life-forms here in this physical reality - thus I forgive myself that I instead talked myself into believing that I would be okay to remain placing my writings into/as categories - to furthermore remain judging myself, as I saw clearly that if I in fact wrote myself to freedom, no matter what, there would be absolutely nowhere to hide, no more self-judgment to hide behind - because I would in fact see who I have and have become to see how I have suppressed/covered up from self-judgment to live in self-judgment for the rest of my life - to in fact realize how I have allowed myself to hide behind words that is writing when/as I finally learned how to give certain words values and definitions - to not see how I am squandering the chance/opportunity that is purifying words here in this one Life.

I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact ensure that I realize in fact that writing that is long/short has absolutely no value - because I allow myself to see WHO I AM within and as writing - to in fact LIVE - I allow myself to when/as I am writing to take it slow - to take into consideration what is real and tangible for me to walk within and as this world/reality - without the interference that is self-judgment - but simply take each word that is typed integrated within and as me to bring about a self-realization that I will allow me to in fact walk the talk here in this one life - to re-create myself within and as writing for real, in fact.

I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE, as I now see, realize and understand that writing has been a mind-projection game, wherein I over-analyze my words to the extent that I place myself into/as categories of being disciplined/lazy by/through the length of the words that I am writing out - I allow myself to be and become humble - without the interference of self-judgment - but simply understand that I AM HERE to gift myself within and as writing - to no longer judge myself based on what I am not or who I am currently living here as, creating myself for real, that which is best for this REALity.

To Be Continued...

Day 72: How Writing Could Become a Trap

 This is a continuation to Day 71: Writing Is Hard (Or Is It?)
~Picture of me writing out looooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another.
~Picture of me writing out shooooort points with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me sitting at the computer, comparing myself to all the other Destonian's writings
~Picture of me sitting at my computer, writing out points that I am not integrating to the best of my ability.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face.
~Picture of me looking at my writing with a frown on my face, when I am finished for the day.
~Picture of me falling asleep in the middle of writing.

~Picture of me writing out looooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I MUST write out everything structured in a very looooooong structure to be able to be/become specific.

I forgive myself for accepting and myself to believe that I MUST write out everything structured in a very loooooong structure to be able to be/become specific, as an obligation - and thus within this would allow writing out to be and become a duty/obligation that I MUST complete a certain way, compromising/sabotaging/abusing myself in the process, to be and become a duty/obligation - not seeing/realizing/understanding that writing is for SELF - because I was too busy writing out from the starting-point that it MUST be done in a way that is apparently matching up to specificity, I have used/abused specificity as a idea/belief, and thus would compromise/sabotage/abuse myself in the process - as I now see, realize and understand how I've allowed writing to be/become a duty/obligation - because I haven't allowed myself to realize that writing is for SELF - as an anchor of support to express myself, absolutely and specifically.

I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to write from the starting point of obligation/duty, as "something I must do in a very non-tangible way" - because I have allowed writing to be/become just another form of limitation/enslavement, I have used to enclose myself to myself, and thus would lose myself within and as writing from a starting-point of being/becoming an obligation/duty - not seeing/realizing/understanding that I am setting myself up for falling in this process of re-birthing myself within and as this one life, and thus I am merely squandering a perfect chance/opportunity to in fact write myself out - to in fact walk my talk here in this one life - as I now see, realize and understand how I've consulted writing as just another character - because I have allowed writing to be/become a duty/obligation - to remain playing it safe - instead - I take a deep breath - to give myself a moment to gift myself the chance/opportunity to re-look at my starting-point of writing to in fact be/become a door of opportunity - to un-MASK the characters that I play-out when/as I am writing myself out, that which will inevitably bring about change that is best for all life, that which is also best for me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to REALize how writing out looooong or shoooooort writings have nothing to do with specificity, as specificity is realizing a point - and thus within this expanding the realization to in fact get to the root of how I have allowed writing to be/become something a chore/obligation, and thus I would jump from one point to another - because I wasn't in actuality writing myself out, as specificity doesn't imply the length - as I now see, realize and understand that if that were the case than everyONE would realize what an actual chance/opportunity it is to in fact write in the first place - because for gazillions of years - writing has been a chore/obligation, and thus we would write out empty words that are are left by/through interpretation - to never in fact actually see what is here, in that which is no longer seeing into the veil of the mind - to create a platform of seeming within and as the body, NOT the mind, creating a solution that is best for all, that which is best for all, and thus within this would allow INTO-ME-SEE be/become a door of opportunity, that which will allow ourselves to no longer remain blind.

I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe and perceive that writing out loooooong points or short points makes a difference on how I am actually expanding myself, including who I am within and as specificity - because I have allowed writing to be/become a ground of judgment to see myself as superior or inferior, and thus I have squandered a perfect door of opportunity to equalize myself to in fact integrate the words that I am writing out, one by one, no longer limiting/enslaving myself, and thus would instead in fact learn to write all over again - as I now see, realize and understand that I've correlated writing within and as knowledge/information - to treat writing like a chore/obligation - because I gave into what I was taught throughout my life on what writing should/shouldn't be used for in the first place - instead - I allow myself to in fact write myself to freedom, for real, in that which is tangible, that which will allow me to grow/develop/expand myself, in all ways possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist writing myself to freedom because I have judged this point, including myself, as "something bigger than myself" - and thus within this would allow a image of me writing out loooooong points with a frown on my face, jumping from one point to another, to exist within and as myself - as I now see, realize and understand how I've correlated specificity in relation to writing out loooooong points - because I have allowed writing myself out become self-sabotage - a point which I have found self-judgment in, I have used to diminish me, I have used as something to be/become inferior, and thus would define myself as superior in regards to someone giving me positive feed back - not seeing/realizing/understanding that the feed back that I give has absolutely nothing to do within and as how I am actually assisting/supporting myself, and thus I am merely pulling a huuuuuuge polarity mind-fuck game to instead stop, take a deep breath - to create a platform of writing, in that which is tangible - yet specific - to create a solution that is best for all, that which is best for me.

I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out loooooong points, jumping from one point to another -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact ensure that I no longer treat writing as another characterization for me to never un-mask the characters of who I am within and as writing - because I have treated writing as a chore/obligation - to merely get gone - instead - I allow myself myself to realize that writing is a door of opportunity to realize who I am/have been - without the interference of the mind - but simply gift myself the chance/opportunity to realize that writing is here - to re-create myself that which is best for all life, that which is also best for me.

I commit myself to when/as/if this thought as image of me writing out looooong points, jumping from one point to another -- I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact ensure that specificity does not mean/imply how long/short I am writing myself out - but simply the starting-point to ALWAYS be SELF - because I have allowed myself to treat writing as a chore/obligation, something to finish/complete to get to the next task/assignment - I allow myself to realize that when/as/if I am treating writing as another to in fact stop - because this is a confirmation that I am not here as breath as self-expression - but instead I am busy in my mind to get to the next quickie, that which always involves being a slave/character to time, so - I allow myself to simply get back to REALity to no longer squander a chance/opportunity to expand myself, in all ways possible, for real in fact.

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Day 68: I Fear Change

This is a continuation to Day 67: Don't Rock The Boat
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-realization because I am unconsciously placing/projecting all these pre-conceived ideals and because of this I have allowed myself to compromise/sabotage/abuse myself in complete repetition - instead of seeing/realizing/understanding how I am accumulating so much FEAR that I do not understand/investigate realize how the FEAR that I experience on a day to day basis on realization was in actuality connected to FEARING CHANGE - I see and realize that it's completely irrelevant for me to FEAR CHANGE because I am in actuality fearing who I am and inevitably must live within and as this physical reality - thus, I am HERE to in fact HERE myself to change myself, moment by moment, step by step, breath by breath, assisting and supporting myself to understand/realize/investigate how/why I've allowed myself to FEAR myself so much over the years to the extent/degree that I will abuse/compromise/sabotage myself simply because it's all I've ever known.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I MUST live dependent on the FEAR that I experience on a day to day basis, because I fear what will happen if I rock the boat within and as my world and reality - within this I am not considering/taking into consideration/into account how/why I've been allowing myself to see FEAR as an energy charger separate from myself, thus - not seeing/realizing/understanding that I am the Creator that created the FEAR that experience within and as myself on a day to day basis, and so it's irrelevant for me to assume/perceive that without the FEAR that I experience I will be completely lost, because I am here/have always been here, and so the FEAR is here in every moment/breath/chance/opportunity to be corrected by/through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and the actual physical walking the point.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when and as I am taking the FEAR I experience on a day to day basis to realize who I am/must live to be and become, I am giving the FEAR power over me by/through accepting the FEAR to be the real me - not seeing, realizing or understanding that the FEAR is NOT who I am - because all it takes for me to stand up, not accept and allow myself to be and become anything less than who I am, and so I have the power within and as every moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here - because, at the end of the day it is a choice/decision to not correct myself here as the breath as self-expression, standing up and stating "Till here no further," I do not accept or allow myself to limit/enslave myself to this emotional experience called FEAR.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am inferior to FEAR and within this would thus think, believe and perceive that my only choice/decision I have is to limit/enslave myself to this emotional experience of FEAR - not seeing, realizing or understanding that I am the one who took the choice/decision to see myself as inferior and thus have allowed myself to see myself as only capable of reacting in FEAR - instead of taking the practical steps to change myself here as breath as self-expression - all because of my perception/definition of what I am apparently capable of only being and becoming as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish and judge who I am in relation to self-realization that I starting participating within and as the backchat "I am too worthless"/"I am not smart enough to commit myself to myself/life"/"I don't have what it takes to assist/support myself to my utmost potential" then I would be more satisfied/accepting of crucifying myself, over and over - because, I've allowed myself to diminish/judge myself purposely/deliberately as a valid/acceptable excuse/justification to not move myself here within and as this physical reality - within this not seeing, realizing or understanding that the worthlessness I experience on a day to day basis is the fear of change character - thus, if I would ever think about changing myself, I would be and become confused by/through all the perfect scapegoats I accumulated through the years to remain in complete petrification of the FEAR I in actuality purposely/deliberately self-created to remain belittling myself for eternity - thus, When and as I see the back chat "I am too less than" - I stop and I take a deep breath - I bring myself back to this physical reality through seeing, realizing and understanding that fearing change does not change the inner experience of FEAR I see within and as changing myself for real - I do NOT accept or allow myself to continue participating within backchat such as "I am too less than something" but instead commit myself to stop diminishing/judging myself through seeing myself within and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the experience of FEAR of Change exist within and as me - not seeing, realizing or understanding that I do not have to accept the FEAR of Change as a part/aspect of myself to the point that I must continuously allow it to be and become something I cannot change - I can stop it in one breath and direct myself out of the experience of FEAR of Change since it does only exist within my mind as an energetic experience - in where I am sabotaging/compromising/abusing through FEAR of Change as me. I commit myself to take a deep breath and state "I do not accept to allow my lack of self-worth to direct or control me - instead - I direct myself" and thus bring myself back to this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the simplicity of letting go of the FEAR of Change through taking a stance to not allow the energy within me - but would instead allow myself to go into that energetic experience of being less than, thinking and believing that it is me - when all the while it was just manipulation from and of my mind. I commit myself to, when and as I am experiencing the FEAR of Change - to take one deep breath, allow myself to walk the point out in further self-expansion within and as writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and actual physical walking the talk, letting go of the energy through and with my breathing and bring myself back to stability - here.

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Day 66: When the Door of Opportunity Opens

This is a continuation to Day 65: Admit It - You Can't Hear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when/as the door of opportunity precedes itself to limit/enslave myself, especially and specifically within the boundaries of someone presenting a practical-insight to no longer remain confined to the barriers within and as myself, I allow myself to immediately/instantaneously abuse/compromise/sabotage myself and the other party that is presenting the point, because I am already in my mind reacting to a picture-presentation of someone presenting the point before the moment had already presented itself, wherein I've already completely disregarded the regard of the person that is presenting the point and ultimately myself to fully take the moment to it's utmost potential to be/become my fullest potential of living, because I've already before the door of opportunity had even arrived, given up on myself, completely and totally, I have already given up on myself by/through in the moment that is about to arise, because I am too busy in my mind placing/projecting myself outward to how I can handle to not handle the point that is being presented in the moment, as I've become a victim to myself - thus I now see how I must be the one to not see above and beyond a moment to continuously sabotage/compromise/abuse myself, but to be the self-directive principle of my life that is always making the decision to stand here as self-expression to no longer create unnecessary barriers within and as a practical-insight presents itself - thus I realize I in every and every breath, in each and every moment, that I must stand here to realize that actually HEREing what is HERE is the key to no longer fearing who I am/have become, in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can 'realize' who I am/have become as an expression of myself in every moment of how/who I am, and in that live rest in each moment wherein I will no longer remain thinking, believing and perceiving that self-realization must be suppressed/hidden within/as myself at all costs. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not place myself here in each and every moment to the best of my ability - not giving into the idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am/must continuously live my life throughout not HEREing absolutely nothing to remain HERE, in this realizing with myself in each breath as who I am as life.

Therefore, I see that the practical-solution is to when/as the door of opportunity arises to expand myself in all ways is to check myself by/through taking a deep breath to see/realize/understand that the only way I can possibly expand myself in all facets, to in fact apply myself accordingly within and as this physical reality by/through actually HEREing what is HERE, wherein I no longer immediately/instantaneously have a dimensional shift and imagine all the possible formalities I can use/abuse to maintain my self-interest. I direct myself to remain here as breath as self-awareness to in-fact HERE what the other person is presenting in the moment, without giving into my mind to remain in my time-loop of compromise/abuse/sabotage and as such, supporting me to instead HERE for the first time, because I've been too busy having dimensional shifts, fearing that who I am/have become will go away at any moment, knowing the entire time that I was in no way and could only be/become a limitation/enslaved character/personality to do everything in my delusional power to not HERE what is HERE.

When and as I see myself fearing a door of opportunity to no longer remain Confined to the Con of Consciousness, that I've created over time to ever realize who I am/must be and become, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to in fact HERE. I realize that whenever I have feared a door of opportunity, especially and specifically someone presenting a practical-insight, I end up a victim to myself, wherein I in actuality programed/conditioned myself through my life to remain a slave/character - not seeing/realizing/understanding that it's all I've been and have used to be/become to the point that I've lived it without any questioning - thus, if I can literally be/become something to such an extent, I can most certainly assist/support to bring myself back HERE to in fact HERE, to inevitably reach the Point of No Return, wherein I naturally assist/support, in each and every breath, in each and every moment, in fact.

Thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully consider/take into consideration/account and realize that in making the choice/decision to already give up on myself, before the moment of practical-insight precedes itself, I have already determined my choice/decision to not stand here as self-expression to remain HERE to in fact HERE, for real, for Life, in all ways possible.

When and as I see myself taking a moment to place/project myself outside myself to imagine all the possible forms I can take to manipulate the person that is presenting the point and myself to remain a slave/character, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back Here. I realize that the point is here, not anywhere, and most certainly cannot be hidden, because everything stands here within and as myself, always, I realize that there is nowhere to hide because the point is here/has always been here as the expression of who I am as the physical and not a manipulation tactic to remain caged in, A Victim to Myself, I commit myself to show/reveal to myself and others as myself how one can take a part one door of opportunity to a door of victimization, to transforming/changing a door of opportunity to something I can abuse/compromise/sabotage in complete repetition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every moment that I compromise/sabotage/abuse to remain manipulating a door of opportunity to stand here as breath as self-expression, I am in fact not seeing/realizing/understanding that I am not only compromising/sabotaging/abusing myself the door of opportunity to realize myself, but the change/opportunity for others to ever have an opportunity of living, because no matter how much I want to run away/hide from/suppress that my choice/decision that I live here as breath here in each moment is not only a choice/decision that I make for myself, but for those in this world/reality to have a chance/opportunity to live a dignified life, because we're all here in this physical reality, therefore, we're equally responsible to live each moment to it's utmost potential.

When and as I see myself compromising/sabotaging/abusing the doors of opportunities that I face here as breath in every moment, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I see and realize that I am showing/revealing to myself that I am not 100% fully dedicated to walking this process to my utmost potential here in this physical reality - and so I commit myself to slowly but surely HERE what is HERE in this physical reality, because I am fully responsible for not standing up to purposely/deliberately deafen myself when/as the door of opportunity presents itself to expand myself here in this life, by/through not remaining self-righteous just because I want to maintain my self-interest, to no longer remain a victim to myself, but live each moment to the best I can.

To Be Continued...

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Day 64: Choosing To Live In Fear

This is a continuation to Day 63: When Our Power Is Gone
Walking the FEAR Dimensions of The Taking It Personally Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate/experience/react as being less than/inferior/stupid to/towards someone/something or whatever situation that is brining the point open in the moment purposely/deliberately to forevermore remain a slave/limitation/victim to myself to the extent that I would see/realize/understand that all what I am doing is accumulating/compounding/fueling/powering the point further, wherein extensive amounts of FEAR will be suppressed/bottled up/hidden from myself to never realize who I am/have become - within this taking everything personal was personally my choice/decision that I've made over the years because the FEAR that I accumulated over the years was never in-fact unconscious because I always knew within and as myself that I made the choice/decision to remain participating/experiencing/reacting as FEAR, completely and totally, that I've rather be/become the epitome of/as FEAR to ever realize who I am/have become, I now see, realize and understand that me remaining enslaving/limiting myself was in actuality a choice/decision I made/have always made to always remain a slave/character to/towards myself to never slowly but surely place the pieces back together, therefore, I allow myself to get back to what is real, to stop and take a deep breath and investigate how I'm limiting/enslaving myself on a day to day basis just because it's easier to remain a victim to myself for the rest of my life to actually become intimate with myself and accumulate self-trust, no longer remaining limiting/enslaving myself within and as FEAR.

When and as I see myself suppressing/hiding from/bottling up extensive amounts of/as FEAR just to remain a slave/character, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE, I now see, realize, and understand that if I continue making the choice/decision to remains slave/character I will inevitably face the consequences in the end, because I am the one at the end of the day that makes the choice/decision on a daily-basis to remain a slave/character just because it's more convenient that way, within this I allow myself to investigate/realize/understand within and as self-honesty that if my starting-point to lie day in and day our just because it's apparently easier, I then must stop, take a deep breath and realize how much I've compromised/sabotaged myself purposely/deliberately just because it was convenient/easier in the end, and so I commit myself to get back to this physical reality and simply take the point that I've used what I am used to doing/conditioned to participate in on a daily-basis as another confirmation about who I am/have become to walk what must be walked, as a motivational point to be/become intimate with myself and accumulate self-trust, no longer remaining limiting/enslaving myself within and as FEAR.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider/take into consideration/account that if I am remaining in complete petrification of my own FEAR that I actually self-created in the first place, then I now see, realize and understand that harnessing all these ideas/beliefs/perceptions/assumptions of what it means to self-realize was in actuality my own self-creation of self-realization I mind-projected onto someone/something or whatever is bringing up the point in the moment to not face myself, absolutely and specifically to finally assist/support myself to investigate that living my life within and as the starting-point of FEAR is actually no way to live and in no way provides any solution, therefore, I do not accept or allow myself to remain in FEAR just to justify/excuse myself from realizing who I am/have become, I allow myself to become humble and to not remain a slave/character and try/attain/attempt to be and idea/belief/perception/assumption that I can never and will never be able to be in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have, throughout my entire life, unconsciously placed/projected extensive amounts of/as FEAR in relation to a person/whomever or whatever would bring up a practical-insight - in where I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR to fear realization at all costs in where I would do everything in my delusional power to remain enslaved/limited to the extent/point/condition that I go into defense mode to what I've so much suppressed/bottled up/hidden within and as the layers of my mind so I can act accordingly, meaning, I would be too busy in the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here to remain a victim to myself, thinking, believing and perceiving that if I continuously play this charade of/as the point that is being Re-Vealed in the moment, that it will actually be more acceptable/natural for me to always spend my life lying to myself, therefore, I now see, realize and understand that taking a point personal when/as someone/something presents itself in the moment for me to bring about change/transformation, was in actuality never about where the point was coming from, because it was always myself that was purposely/deliberately unconsciously layering my mind to forevermore not self-realize who I am/have become to in-fact change/transform myself for real within and as this physical reality.

When and as I see myself unconsciously placing/projecting extensive amounts of/as FEAR in relation to a person/whomever or whatever is bringing up a practical insight, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE, I now see, realize and understand I've accumulated so much FEAR because it was my defense mechanism to ever in-fact have a self-realization to reach self-change/transformation, therefore, when/as a person/whomever would bring up a point I would act accordingly to not HERE to in-fact realize that all I must do is be HERE as breath as self-expression to HERE who I am/have become to no longer remain compromising/sabotaging/abusing myself simply because it's all I've ever known, therefore, I commit myself to Re-Veal myself to myself to really HERE what is HERE once and for all just because it's all I ever known, to be/ become humble and to not remain a slave/character and try/attain/attempt to be and idea/belief/perception/assumption that I can never and will never be able to be in the first place.

To Be Continued...

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