This is a continuation to Day 36: What Does It Mean To Be Alive?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I know what it means to be alive because I have lived my Life as though I'm actually living in the first place, I live my life as though it will be here for eternity, I live my Life as though I have so much time to actually change myself, as though I actually know what it means to be here in every moment to live my life to my utmost potential - in this my life has been nothing because I don't even breathe within and as each moment, my life is but another memory that never had any value - no judgment here - just the truth - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that if I continue feeding myself this bullshit then that makes me just another CharACTer - within this I now understand that have known nothing/have never known anything about what it means to be here in this physical reality - to actually realize the opportunity it is to be alive in this Life, and so I have never considered/taken into consideration any of this because I was too busy deluding myself with what it means to be alive - therefore - I will waste my Life within and as thoughts because I was too busy looking/searching/finding something outside myself because I never had understood Life as Equality & Oneness - to in-fact actually live for those that have absolutely nothing, because I allow myself to not feed/fuel/power my thoughts that was only in the end myself trying/attaining/attempting to be self-righteous to (apparently) be someone/something within and as my thoughts that in the end I was only be/becoming some fucked up version of what it means to be alive - I now see, realize and understand that its not about knowing or not knowing what it means to actually be here in this physical reality - to realize the opportunity it is to be here in this physical reality because I allow myself to NOT look/search/find something within and as my mind to in-fact understand some meaning, and so the meaning is here for us to walk ourselves out of our minds to actually create ourselves for the first time - to in essence actually re-birth ourselves from this physical reality, no bullshit, When and as I see myself trying/attaining/attempting to look/search/find something outside myself, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understanding that there is nothing to find because I find myself here in every moment of breath that I am actually aware of what it means to be here in this physical reality - to no longer allow the self-sabotage patterns to continue because all what we been doing for generations is digging our own graves for absolutely nothing in the end, I mean, when were actually look at our lives in this physical reality into and as self-honesty we can say with absolute certainty that were already dead - I commit myself to take into account everyone in this world/reality to understand that when/as a child is here in this Life there should be no doubt that the child will be/become a slave to this world-system and themselves, I commit myself to actually understand that it means to be here in this Life to in-fact realize that life can only be considered if all are in-fact having the certainty to live a dignified Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK my life away and actually see that as something natural/apart of Life - in this is just another confirmation of how fucked up we allowed ourselves to be/become because were never in essence actually questioning anything in this world/reality, until everything in our life falls apart or something terrible touches your outer-reality - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that THINKING allows me to not live in anyway because I was too busy within and as my mind to ever consider/take into consideration how my life has flashed before my own eyes for I was too busy having dimensional shifts to in-fact realize what I'm in essence doing to myself and this world/reality, at the same time - within this I know absolutely nothing about what it means to be here in this physical reality because I in the end wanted/desired to THINK myself to death, and so it wasn't only myself I was compromising at the same time but those in this world/reality that actually could have some chance to in-fact live if Life would actually be for all Equally, and so an Equal Money System is the only for this to happen - I now see, realize and understand that giving up on myself is the most self-interested thing I can do because I wasn't only giving up on myself I was giving up on those that could have the chance to live in this world/reality if I actually stand within and as myself to in-fact be/become apart of this world-system to create a system that will regard everyone here: The Equal Money System - I commit myself to realize that be/becoming apart of this world-system is not in anyway what will be easier for me or even harder but to allow myself to really push myself to move myself in this world-system for myself to be placed effectively for all to life a Life that can actually be lived, because what it easier or harder is irrelevant at this point for it was only my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that Life is already here/has been here all along, wherein - Life in this world/reality has absolutely nothing to do with Living but survival and competition to do whatever it takes to be the winner, I mean, how can I know anything about what it means to be alive when all I have known is survival and competition? In this - I have only been considering/taking into consideration myself because my Life has been comfortable for all I have never known what it means to actually survive in this world/reality - to in-fact know what it means when Life has given up on you because you don't have the pretty green paper that holds your purpose/destiny in your hands - I now see, realize and understand that the only way to stop is to stop everything within and as my inner-reality to no longer think myself to death because I was deliberately/purposely killing myself because that's all I ever known about this world/reality - I allowed myself to discard those that can't even take the stance within and as themselves because their breath is not their own, their breath is governed by/through how much nourishment they are giving to their bodies - When and as I see myself deliberately/purposely not understanding what is in essence here in this physical reality, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I can in essence change myself in the moment to in-fact understand that Life can be turned around to actually take the stance within and as ourselves to in-fact breathe because I allow myself to appreciate that I have the nourishment to breathe deeply to have my breath become my own, and so I'm self-responsible to be/become apart of this world-system to in-fact understand that Life cannot continue life this anymore.
When and as I see myself not understanding what it means to be alive, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that Life into and as this physical reality MUST be change by/through changing ourselves to in-fact realize that we have never known anything about Life, in this we must re-birth ourselves to walk ourselves out of our minds and into the physical because participating and experiencing ourselves as a mere CharACTer is what allows ourselves to never understand that our entire lives has been nothing but a memory filled with and as Characterization that we chose to be/become - therefore - I commit myself to walk this process of Equality & Oneness, I realize that this process is not about changing this world but changing ourselves as a group to walk this process wherein Life can in-fact lived to be/become apart of this world-system to create: An Equal Money System - therefore - I commit myself to Life to in-fact realize what Life means, slowly but surely.
To Be Continued...
