Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Day 14 - Giving up is all we've done - Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in the give up character to such an extent that it became backchat that I'm too useless - within this I'm creating ideas/beliefs that someone must be something in order to get something done - therefore - I allow myself to think/believe I'm not good enough/not capable of assisting/supporting myself because apparently I must be the idea/projection of what society thinks/believes is good/enough/capable to get something done because I allowed society to become my perfect justification/excuse to not assist/support - within this I knew exactly what I was doing when I was claiming/assuming I am/will always be too useless because I abdicated my self-responsibility deliberately/purposely for myself to remain in pure bliss because now I can sit on my ass and not do anything that will actually be practical for myself to assist/support myself to actually get everything done to the best of my ability - therefore - I now see realize and understand that claiming/assuming I'm not good enough/capable will only end up in me compounding the point further to the point of diminishment point, wherein - I think/believe I am too useless and in actuality I was only fueling/powering the I give up character to not get daily tasks/assignments done because I knew then that would come to the point that my entire life would change because I would no longer be a slave to/towards characters but have to direct myself to be and become something worthy of life - therefore - there is nobody to blame, certainly not society because I am part of society and so I'm part of the whole of this world/reality to bring change to actually get shit done and have no excuses/justifications but not try/attempt to bite off more then I can chew just to proof to myself that I'm not a character - I allow myself to understand that I'm not a character but I'm certainly not a God that can get everything done and that is why humanity is a group and so we walk together to become self-willed equals that do not wait for God to come and save our asses just so we don't have to take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become the I give up character that I would allow myself to participate and experience the backchat that I'm too useless - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and give value to the I give up character to such an extent that I would diminish myself to think/believe that I'm useless, I mean the point of thinking/believing I'm useless would have to be a pure statement of how much I separated myself from myself because of assuming/claiming that I'm the scum on Earth because I've allowed myself to think/believe I am useless -therefore - become a victim to this world/reality that I'm nothing and cannot do anything because of the belief/idea that some idea/belief is bigger then me outside myself and that's why/how I'm useless - not seeing, realizing and understanding that its everyone in this world/reality that have allowed and accepted the fact that they are useless, I mean if everyone in this world/reality accepted themselves then wouldn't this world be completely different? I allow myself to see, realize and understand that if i continue becoming one and equal to the uselessness and only see myself as this uselessness then I know that I'm completely responsible for this outer-reality and this outer-reality is revealing that which we've denied within ourselves: The Point of self-responsibility, because many of us have claimed/assumed that we already have responsibilities but we don't - not really - because the responsibility that everyone is living right now in this world/reality involves self-interest to always survive and do anything to survive to compete in this world/reality and obviously surviving at this point with out current Money-system is essential but not with the current starting-point were living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that I don't have what it takes to get everything done to the best of my ability that I allow myself to become the I give up character - not seeing, realizing and understanding that I already have everything that I need within this moment because there is absolutely no excuse/justification to not get everything done to my utmost potential because as long as I am part of the Elite then I'm completely responsible to bring about a change to this world/reality and frankly the last thing this world needs is another character to fuel/power the matrix to not change this world/reality because of a mere character - I now see, realize and understand that I will always have what it takes as long as I have the essentials to support myself in this world/reality - therefore - I have to walk this process because the clock is ticking and characters of the mind aren't putting food in children's bellies and the characters of the mind certainly aren't providing any assistance/support to those in poverty and so there is no choice not to walk this process to walk out of mind into the physical at the point because this world/reality is no picnic and its certainly not what it makes it out to be, thus, Time to walk the talk - I do not accept or allow myself to make excuses/justifications for myself to give up myself because the most I accept this point I am giving up on life and so when I'm assuming/claiming that me giving up on myself will not hurt anybody this is just proof on how we as human beings have given up on life in every seemingly way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect/attach another dimension to the I give up character by/through participating and experiencing the backchat that I might as well wallow in depression because I don't deserve to support myself -therefore - I allow myself to not see, realize and understand that there is no such thing as deserving something but DIS-SERVING Life in every possible way to not stand up to actually understand that there are no victims because everyone here is self-responsible and giving up on ourselves will only allow the atrocity to continue endlessly - within this point I have to stop because this entire starting-point of humanity thinking/believing were al victims to the system is bullshit and will always be bullshit because we as humanity are actually relieved to the world-system doing all the work to enslave humanity for us to sit on our asses and complain/whine that all we are is victims and we cannot do anything - therefore - its this mind-set that has allowed us to never change this world/reality and stop the reLIEf to never take self-responsibility to always in-fact never bring about anything worthy of living because of always living the point of giving up - instead of not seeing, realizing and understanding that we as humanity have given up a long time ago and keep giving up and even the faces of children on the television starving to death or the death of a loved one from a drug-addiction still don't allow us to change this world/reality by/through changing ourselves and so all what we do is continue what we do best: Give up. Time to face the music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that I am too stupid to get anything done to the best of my ability - within this I allow myself to think/believe that one must be the polarized opposite in order to get anything done and so I'm not taking into consideration that intelligence is what has slaved us for generations and what has actually made us stupid to give up on ourselves by/through always chasing/finding/attaining some sort solution that always involved some sort of formula that was always outside of self and never actually considered living knowledge/information for what is best for all - to in-fact understand that investigating this world/reality is the only way were going to bring any change to stop everyone to become just another philosopher that will soon be forgotten - I now see, realize and understand that the assumption/belief/idea that one must store enough information and recite it precisely and maybe only then I'm good enough/capable to get anything done to the best of my ability - therefore - I allow myself to stop the polarity of chasing/finding/attaining society's view of intelligence to in-fact bring about any change and so I allow myself to understand that knowledge/information has never/will never save humanity but only compound/perpetuate this world/reality to always remain enslaved to knowledge/information that we never even understood in the first place. How can someone understand knowledge/information when they aren't living it?

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that its knowledge/information that has become the key ingredient to the I give up character because that is all what people do in their lives in our current world-system: chase/find/attain some knowledge/information because we gave up on ourselves and we knew and so we've chased/found/attained some point of knowledge/information to hide/suppress the point of not taking self-responsibility and so chasing/finding/attaining this knowledge/information would somehow make up for/cover up what which we always knew within ourselves that we've always given up on Life in every way possible - therefore - I now see, realize and understanding that this game of morality to chase/find/attain some piece of knowledge/information was always a cover up to make up for what we've done to ourselves and to Life - therefore - every decision has a triple affect - someone decides to live their entire life chasing/finding/attaining knowledge/information the world does the same - someone decides to live by/through a principle of is best for all - Who knows what will happen? I allow myself to live the decision of walking our of the mind into the physical because I know within myself that this process is the only thing to do because this world/reality has only become another place to become another philosopher chasing/finding/attaining some gold platter to justify and excuse our self-interest to not stand up for life.
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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Day 11: Sharing is Caring

Judgment in relation to sharing.


Sharing has not been caring for myself over the years, many times when I'm sharing something is because some outside situation/person want or desires me to pour my soul out, sort of speak - within this I've allowed myself to think/believe that sharing myself is pointless/meaningless because what I share has no difference on the person anyways - therefore - I assume/perceive that I might as well keep the point to myself because it would be completely trivial if I were to bring some support to someone, in some way - within this is the perfect excuse for myself to keep to myself and hide/suppress myself to actually understand that we're all here in this world and reality and have gathered different perspectives and experiences - therefore - we might as well learn from each other to actually grow/develop and expand as human beings and not hide behind ideas/projections that I cannot make a difference in some one's life in some way. This is an interesting point for myself since I've started participating in Desteni because all what Desteni is about is supporting yourself as supporting another by expressing/sharing as the group - within this point I've realized how much I've kept to myself over the years and never actually shared/expressed myself in a moment to actually understand that my words can carry some weight to others - I mean, when you spend your entire life not communicating/speaking you become use to the idea that sharing is completely pointless/meaningless to bring some support to another being's life, in some way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that sharing myself to others is completely pointless/meaningless because I have created the belief/assumption/idea that my experiences/perspectives are apparently inferior/less than/unimportant to receive/give anyone assistance/support - therefore - I allow myself to hide/suppress myself in the moment to share/express my self-realizations that I have understood for myself because I think/believe that my experiences/perspectives are inferior/less than/unimportant, wherein - it comes to the point that it literally consumes me because I didn't stop the point and create a solution to choose to be self-honest but merely suppressed/compounded the point further for myself to hide/suppress the very perception/assumption that what I've realized throughout my life is somehow only inferior/less than/unimportant and will always be this way because I'm worthless. I now see, realize and understand that we're all here and therefore equal to/towards what is here in this physical reality and condemning myself that I am pointless/meaningless to assist/support anyone else - then I must consider if I'm assisting/supporting myself in the moment because if I allow myself to think/believe that I am worthless then this point will literally consume my outer-inner reality to finally make a decision to stand for what is best for all and support another as I'm supporting myself and to breathe, let go and write the hell out of myself to finally understand that it doesn't matter if I don't assist/support 1 person, 2 people or nobody for that matter because I am here and numbers do not define and give me value to assist and support myself always and stand up to support anyone as myself that is willing to HEAR me or HERE me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only share/express myself in a moment if someone/something outside myself is wanting/desiring for me to share/express myself in an assignment/task - within this I react in uselessness and think/believe that want I have to say has no substance/affect for anyone to actually understand for themselves - within this I create the belief/assumption/idea that everything I've self-realized throughout my life is meaningless/pointless -therefore - I will hide/suppress the experiences/perspectives that have brought me here supporting myself in the moment because I've given up on myself without even realizing it. I now see, realize and understand that when I'm asked to share/express in a moment for a task/assignment - I will myself to not treat the situation/transcendence point as a task/assignment but a point to trust myself in the moment and simply trust myself to understand that me trusting myself in the moment within sharing/expressing myself is enough and will always be enough because I cannot force anyone to realize themselves and that is entirely why its called self-realization.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that me assuming/perceiving that assisting/supporting someone is a gift because its a two-way street, wherein - I assist/support myself to open up a point in a moment to finally in-fact realize myself and within myself seeing this point I'm also giving someone else something to bring to the table, rather it being even something that they disagree with because I've allowed the person to open up their eyes to something and care enough to disagree about something to possibly where the person may transform themselves to what is best for all - therefore - I allow myself to investigate why/how I think/believe that sharing within another as myself is defined and valued as trivial when in-fact it is an opportunity to open up someone's eyes or open up my own to finally actually grow as human beings to reach an actual evolution that we can create a revolution that is best for all life. I now see, realize and understand that giving as you would like to receive is in essence what sharing could be for myself to live and in-fact grow as a human-being to not only help someone else open up a point but also myself to learn and not become self-righteous, I mean opening myself to other perspectives is what got me here in the first place so I might as well open up myself to others and share ourselves as another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to make a difference in some one's life in someway when I haven't focused on myself to in-fact trust myself and will myself to share/express unconditionally - therefore - I cannot be some savior because this world doesn't need another Jesus or Mother Teresa because this world is one and equal and so we've created everything here, within this is our self-responsibility as a group here in this world and reality to create a world that can finally be what is best for all life and choosing to become some sort of authority figure is completely pointless because I am not yet an example that is standing up for life but another liar that is trying/attaining to justify/excuse what I accepted and allowed and will come to the extent where I even hide/suppress myself to share/express myself unconditionally because of a mere assumption/belief that I am inferior/less than/unimportant and ultimately worthless - I now see, realize and understand that being some savior has only caused people to praise others to be some sort God outside themselves and never actually created anything worthwhile but only a constantly battle between morality of being a fucking God that will apparently save us all - within this its finally time to take self-responsibility for our actions and open up to others about our shit because not sharing/expressing at this point is merely self-interest and only another CharACTer acting to do anything to remain hidden/suppressed for eternity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that all the experiences/perspectives I've accumulated are less than/inferior/unimportant to the extent where the point consumes because I didn't stop the point and create a solution to choose to be self-honest but merely suppressed/compounded the point further for myself to hide/suppress the very perception/assumption that what I've realized throughout my life is somehow only inferior/less than/unimportant and will always be this because I'm worthless. I now see, realize and understand that I'm merely allowing self-defeat and self-victimization because I'm remaining a victim to the perception/assumption that I'm useless that I didn't create a solution and chose to become self-honest in the moment and stand up from that fear I've created - therefore - I allow myself to understand that I can and will only be a victim of a point if I'm not going to even create a solution for myself and choose to be the creator, and so I allow myself to get my head out of my ass to finally in-fact stand up from the fears/judgments/CharACTErs I've created that I'm useless to bring any support to anybody but in actuality it was never about anyone else and only always myself - I do not accept or allow myself to become a slave to my own fears/judgments/CharACTers that I've developed throughout my life as though I'm completely separate from them from the perspective that I'm not even capable of stopping the fear and judgment I experience when I'm sharing/expressing in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that I am and will always remain separate from what I've created through out my life and will therefore think/believe that if I separated myself from my life so much then I shouldn't share/express my past because I let it become my present in the moment - within this I don't share/express myself at all because I assume/perceive that I'm worthless because my life has become the mirror of it from my perception/assumptions that I've created of myself throughout the years to the point where this would become another CharACTer to maintain and I would suit and mask myself up to always remains separate from my own fucking life because I always allowed myself to live the separation that I am worthless - therefore - I think/believe my life is worthless and so sharing/expressing myself becomes to difficult because all what I see is the CharACTer and lie I've allowed myself to live out throughout the years that I didn't stop the fear/judgment components of the CharACTer but remained separate from myself/life to the point where I would feed bottomless pits of depression and wallow in -self-defeat and self-victimization within the point that I am completely worthless to even self-expression within sharing/expressing oneself. I now see, realize and understand that everything of myself and my life is what I allow within the judgments/fears/CharACTers that I've harnessed throughout my life - therefore - my outer-inner reality will become a mirror of what I'm participating in to finally in-fact walk through the transcendence point - breath by breath - step by step - A Process of Accumulation.
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