This is a continuation to Day 66: When the Door of Opportunity Opens
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am in fact assisting/supporting myself by/through not living a moment/breath/chance/opportunity to my fullest potential, because I have abused/compromised/sabotaged every moment of every breath that is HERE to never in fact HERE what must be heard for there to be any practical-change
to this world/reality - thus, I have dis-Regarded myself over and over
again in complete repetition, because in all the opportunities that I
haven't taken were in fact always my choice/decision
to remain an abuser that abused myself/life, in all ways possible -
therefore, I now see, realize and understand that I can only ever
possibly be not responsible for this world and reality if I am actually suffering
in this world/reality, and it's quite funny how I am even placing an
example, because I want/desire some sort of back door for myself as a
justification/excuse to not move myself here within and as this physical
reality, wherein this is absolutely fucked up because I am using/abusing those in my name as Life as myself who are in complete abusive situations to create this idea/belief/perception/assumption
that there is some justification/excuse to not move myself - within
this I am not in anyway considering/taking into consideration/account
what abuse is in essence - because, I have lived my entire Lie in
complete HEARNESS to never in fact HERE what must be heard to live about
the practical change to no longer live my life clouding my eyes and
ears for what will make me feel sugary and good to always remain just
another liar that is deafened in every moment, of every breath -
therefore, I do NOT accept or allow myself to limit/enslave myself in
complete repetition because of making excuses/justifications that I
don't even understand in actuality - because, everything action that I
take here in this life,
is another action to be measured if I am in actuality taking into
consideration/account by/through actually walking the talk, and not
making excuses/justifications that sound nice within and as my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am in fact assisting/supporting myself by/through not living a moment/breath/chance/opportunity to my fullest potential, because I have abused/compromised/sabotaged every moment of every breath that is HERE to never in fact HERE what must be heard for there to be any practical-change
to this world/reality - thus, I have dis-Regarded myself over and over
again in complete repetition, because in all the opportunities that I
haven't taken were in fact always my choice/decision
to remain an abuser that abused myself/life, in all ways possible -
therefore, I now see, realize and understand that I can only ever
possibly be not responsible for this world and reality if I am actually suffering
in this world/reality, and it's quite funny how I am even placing an
example, because I want/desire some sort of back door for myself as a
justification/excuse to not move myself here within and as this physical
reality, wherein this is absolutely fucked up because I am using/abusing those in my name as Life as myself who are in complete abusive situations to create this idea/belief/perception/assumption
that there is some justification/excuse to not move myself - within
this I am not in anyway considering/taking into consideration/account
what abuse is in essence - because, I have lived my entire Lie in
complete HEARNESS to never in fact HERE what must be heard to live about
the practical change to no longer live my life clouding my eyes and
ears for what will make me feel sugary and good to always remain just
another liar that is deafened in every moment, of every breath -
therefore, I do NOT accept or allow myself to limit/enslave myself in
complete repetition because of making excuses/justifications that I
don't even understand in actuality - because, everything action that I
take here in this life,
is another action to be measured if I am in actuality taking into
consideration/account by/through actually walking the talk, and not
making excuses/justifications that sound nice within and as my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life by/through the mantra - ME, ME, ME - because, all what my Lie has been about is what will ME do to not in fact do what is needed/required to do to bring about a change to this world/reality - thus, I have lived my Lie - not seeing/realizing/understanding how/why I've only ever considered/taken into consideration/account the ME that I assumed/perceived was (apparently) ME, wherein I have been/always been a character/personality/persona to live the ME out in repetition to do everything in my delusional power to remain Re-Guarding my self-interest, at all costs, thus - I now see, realize and understand that I have lived my Lie long enough, because the time is here in this very moment to not live by/through the mantra continuously living out some idea/belief/assumption/perception I am (apparently) suppose to live out, because at the end of the day it was never about fearing rocking someone else's boat to who I am - because, I was the ME that given permission to define and give value to who I am within and as something outside of myself, to deliberately/purposely remain a self-interested ME that only existed outside myself - thus, there is no ME that is able to exist because I am not existing, who I am as Life is not existing in anyway, whatsoever - therefore, I allow myself to value myself, once and for all, to take my power back to myself to actually live here as self-expression as who I am, and not some ME that only existed in some alternate reality - constantly trying/attaining/attempting to survive/compete in this world/reality, desperately holding some ME that never considered/taken into consideration/account the WE of this world/reality to in fact live here as each breath to it's fullest potential.
