Day 62: I Am Going Through a Personality Realization

This is a continuation to Day 61: Taking Things A Little Too Personally?
Walking FEAR Dimensions of The Taking It Personally Character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/diminish myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself, because I immediately/instantaneously want/desire to mind-project myself on this pedestal as being superior/more than/intelligent - in this when/as anyone/anything brings forth any actual practical-insight, I immediately/instantaneously participate/experience/react as though this person/whomever that is bringing up the point is to purposely/deliberately "make me" experience myself as inferior/less than/stupid, within this I've not considered/taken into consideration/account that even if the person/whomever or whatever that was bringing the point forward had nothing to do with myself, because obviously if we continuously used/abused people or whatever to not allow ourselves to actually have a self-realization in the moment within and as the practical-insight that is coming forth, then that has absolutely nothing to do with someone deliberately/purposely wanting/desiring to abuse someone else, therefore, all abuse that I assume/perceive that is occurring the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself that I am experiencing/participating/reacting to//towards the person/whomever or whatever that is bringing up the point in the moment, is always self-abuse to purposely/deliberately not allow myself in the moment to actually have a self-realization to equalize myself within and as myself; absolutely and specifically, because it doesn't there is no such thing as a valid/non-valid point, because every point that presents itself in the moment is always a door of opportunity to slowly but surely humble myself to immediately/instantaneously experience/participate/react in spitefulness because I am wanting/desiring to apparently be/become superior/more than/intelligent, therefore, I now see, realize and understand that it's time to get real within and as myself to in-fact understand/investigate/realize that when/as someone or whatever is bringing up a point has absolutely nothing to do with someone else, because I am the one at the end of the day that makes the choice/decision to stand here within and as this physical reality to do everything in my delusional power to not come to a self-realization, because this what I am essentially doing: Taking everything very personal to not allow myself to realize who I am/could be, I allow myself to take everything purposely/deliberately because I didn't self-will myself to understand that all what I was doing/all that I was fearing was not realizing the actuality of the point that was coming forth in the moment, because I would inevitably read the point of no return, wherein I would no longer remain fearing myself/who I am/have become/could be and become to in-fact live here in practical-insight when/as the moment presents itself and in every moment that I am self-aware of my breath to be/become a humble human being.

When and as I see myself judging/diminishing myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself, because I immediately/instantaneously want/desire to self-create this persona/character/personality that I am superior/more than/intelligent, therefore, when/as this point comes up a stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here, I now see, realize and understand that I am in actuality creating an inevitable time-loop for myself that will only lead to compromise/self-sabotage, because I am in actuality wanting/desiring to mind-project myself in this pedestal as being superior/more than/intelligent to remain in the idea/belief/perception/assumption that if I remain wanting/desiring this "more" that I will actually be moving myself or essentially actually growing in some way, wherein I am moving from one polarity of/as experiencing/participating as being less than/inferior/stupid to/towards being/becoming more than/superior/intelligent, not seeing, realizing/understanding that I am in actuality remaining the same (from the perspective of changing/transforming myself to not be/become the same every day presenting myself in the moment as a mere character/persona/personality), because I am creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am somehow moving or growing as a human being to apparently live my life out as this idea/belief/perception/assumption of/as "attainment" or "fulfillment" - in this I will experience/participate/react as being less than/superior/stupidity when/as anyone shows/reveals to myself that the point that was being showed/revealed was in actuality a door of opportunity that I lost, because I was too busy trying/attaining/attempting to be/become "attained" or "fulfilled," by/through playing this enlightened character/personality/persona that was on this quest of knowledge/information that was actually here/has always been here, therefore, I commit myself to bring myself back to this world/reality to no longer judge/diminish myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself, because I immediately want/desire to place/project myself as being superior/more than/intelligent, when/as someone or something is bringing about a point that needs/requires change/direction, therefore, I allow myself to stop to in-fact understand/realize/investigate that I was merely living my life out as this idea/belief/perception/assumption of/as "attainment" or "fulfillment" was in actuality a scapegoat to remain doing everything in delusional power to look/search/seek/find a MORE to not actually come to a self-realization that is here/has always been here.

I now see, realize and understand that I am in actuality self-creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am somehow moving or growing as a human being when/as I placed/project myself in this constant pedestal of being/becoming superior/more than/intelligent, when/as someone or whatever would bring forth a point that needs/requires change/direction, I allowed allow myself to immediately/instantaneously want/desire to be this "more" that will allow me on this path of/as time-loop, creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am moving to growing in my life, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I was only continuously searching/finding/seeking/finding a "more" that will allow me to not realize/understand/investigate the actuality of the points that present themselves in the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here to continuously believe/deceive myself that I am in-fact living, wherein I was only playing the enlightened character/personality/persona that would merely move me from one energy point to energy, allowing myself to delude who I am/have become throughout my life that I am in-fact living, all because I never realized/understood/investigated that the practical-insights that would present themselves in my world and reality were in actuality door of opportunities that I didn't take to live within and as myself, to in-fact equalize myself here in this life; absolutely and specifically.

To Be Continued...

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Day 57: Searching For Myself, Back Later. Leave a Msg

This is a continuation to Day 56: The Me I Never Knew Existed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try/attain/attempt to search for a ME that felt real/honest/authentic within and as myself because I have always molded/shaped myself over a thorough period of time to self-create this idea/belief/perception/assumption that this ME can be/only ever be found outside myself, within this I'm self-creating more separation by/through self-creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption to the point that I waste/wait/postpone my life/process because of a mere idea/belief/perception/assumption that this ME will finally make me finally experience myself as real/authentic/honest, within this I didn't realize for myself that I was actually searching/finding/reaching outward for a ME that was only another personality/character to not understand/realize/investigate how/why I've allowed myself to not see the key point of polarity that is actually happening here, I am wasting/waiting/postponing my life/process/myself to experience myself as real/authentic/honest to not realize that I am in actuality hiding from/suppressing the point that I am not willing to see how I am in actuality experiencing myself as fake/misleading/dishonest to the point that I will self-create these ME's to make the self-interest more bearable for my morality, therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I am merely playing a polarity game that inevitably leads to fuck up because continuously trying/attaining/attempting to experience myself as real/authentic/honest was only another character/personality to not will myself to understand/realize/investigate how/why I am continuously looking for ME's to not see the ME that has been here/always been here, I've allowed myself to reach for/find/search for a ME that was a separate personality/character outside myself to not simply see within and as self-honesty who I am/have become throughout my life to slowly but surely get to the nitty gritty of how/why I've separated/divided myself so much from life/myself to the extent that I would purposely/deliberately self-create ME's that were in actuality ME's existed outside myself to not will myself to look within and as the real ME that has been here/always been here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe and perceive that myself molding/shaping characters that I am presenting in the moment will make my self-interested cycle more bearable for my precious morality, within this I am not understanding/realizing/investigating how/why I am allowing myself to compromise/sabotage my life/process to the extent that I will self-create this idea/belief/perception/assumption that being/becoming full of morality by/through continuously looking/searching/reaching out for a ME will make everything peachy to not realize that I am in actuality not in anyway moral within and as myself at the moment because the mere point/fact of reaching out/searching/finding a personality/character to deliberately/purposely is a mere confirmation of how we as human beings haven't allowed ourselves to understand/realize/investigate that we will do everything in our delusional power to save our asses to literally remain having out heads up our ass (mind you) to continuously not simply realize in common-sense that we have to take self-responsibility for ourselves/each-other/life to actually be/become moral beings that stand up for life, no matter what, I mean, this is what our current life is consisted of: Searching/finding/reach out for a ME that will make ourselves feel better about what we currently are/have become/have always been, Searching/finding/reaching out for another person that will make you feel better about the ME (character/personality) you generally choose to be to make you feel better about yourself to continuously feel validated/recognized/accepted in some bizarre fucked up way, Searching, finding, reaching out for some shit to consume over and over again to not simply see within and as ourselves, no self-judgment or self-diminishment needed, I now see, realize and understand that my entire life/process has been spent to purposely/deliberately not see within and as myself, wherein in actuality me entire life I was searching/finding/reaching out for a ME that would ease my self-interest, which is quite strange how I've allowed myself to go out of my way to not see myself to see something that I wanted/desired to be me to not actually see within and as myself from the get go, therefore, I allow myself to be/become humble completely/absolutely/specifically because continuously trying/attaining/attempting to ease my self-interest is pointless/meaningless because this process is not about ME, but everyone and the ME that is here/has always been here; yet, the ME I have decided/chosen to be throughout my life/process is one and equal to/towards myself because I allow myself to be/become brutal and/or gentle at the same time, Gentle Brutality, to not allow myself to continuously search/look/reach out for a ME that never actually existed in the first place/can never exist in the place because it only existed within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to knowingly/purposely/deliberately participated/experienced myself as fake/misleading/dishonest to not will myself to see within and as self-honest how/why I've allowed myself to be/become fake/misleading/dishonest to the extent that I would trying/attain/attempt to find/search/reach out for a ME that never existed/can never be able to exist in the first place, because I would have to look at the ME that has been here/has always been here and I know within and as myself that the ME that has/is here/has always been here is not a pretty picture in anyway, and so I've allowed myself to move around from one energy point to another to deliberately/purposely self-create this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am actually moving myself within and as my world/reality, wherein I was only doing everything in my delusional power to not see the ME that has been here/always been here, because the ME that is here/has always been here is not an separate entity from myself, therefore, I am always in every moment of every breath here to see within and as myself, and so this is another confirmation that we always know what the heck what were doing, only wanting to see within and as ourselves in our daily-lives is a whole another story to dis-cover within and as myself, I now see, realize and understand that the me that I've been trying/attaining/attempting to find was never actually ME, therefore, I was actually from the get go wasting/waiting/postponing time, because how can I not see what is always revealed/shown in every moment of every breath?! Lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-create this idea/belief/assumption/perception that the ME I've been searching/finding/reach out for was in actuality ME, as in something that could be real/authentic/honest, wherein I was only in the end trying/attaining/attempting to lose myself more and more, from the perspective of veiling myself within and as the characters/personalities that I would deliberately/purposely/knowingly find/search/reach out for, making sure that I won't see within and as myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is always here/has always been here, therefore, when/as I am trying/attaining/attempting to find/search/reach out for a ME that makes the process of dishonesty/self-interest mote bearable I was in actuality molding/shaping myself more and more further away from this physical reality to make sure I will never be able to see within and as myself, I was in actuality screwing within and as myself because I in actuality didn't give a damn about being/becoming a moral being, from there perspective of actually living realness/authenticity/honesty in practical- physical application to create solutions that will in the end allow me to make sure that I "find" myself, sort of speak, from the perspective of not allowing myself to lose myself knowingly/purposely/deliberately so I don't have to find myself within and as realizing/understanding/investigate how/why I've allowed myself to do everything in my power to not simply be/become a moral being, from the perspective of actually giving a fuck about life, and even then I am still a loooooooooongggg way to go ( and much longer), therefore, I now see, realize and understand that if/when I continuously see myself looking/searching/reaching out for a ME, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I was never actually searching/finding/reaching out for ME, because I am here/have always been here, and so I was only trying/attaining/attempting to search/find/reach out for another personality/character to call ME to never see within and as the ME that encompasses all the ME's in Oneness & Equality.

To Be Continued...

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Day 17: Morality is a Bitch

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in the I am a good person character when a picture of my parents telling me that if I'm not a good person I'll go to Hell - within this I experience fear of what would happen if I didn't behave/did behave what my parents believed was a good person because I think/imagine of all the possible things that they could of think/believe was apparently bad/negative/wrong and so I allow myself to always in every moment of every breath spend my time trying/attaining/attempting to be this idea/projection of what my parents thought/believed was good/positive/right because I fear being punished for merely expressing/sharing myself in a moment because of fearing going to Hell - within this I was thinking/believing that if I didn't try/attain/attempt to be and become this good person that I would be punished that I wasn't good enough to be a good person - that how I performed in this planet was not good enough because I didn't have enough morality and so I didn't see, realize and understand that I can never/will never be able to be and become a good person because it always revolved around some idea/belief/assumption of what/wasn't a good person should or shouldn't be - I now see, realize and understand that if I always spend my life trying/attaining/attempting to be a good person CharACTer then I will forever be just another person living my life to some idea/belief/assumption of what is apparently bad/negative/wrong or good/positive/right - therefore - will be just another person living in fear of consequences that only revolved around polarities to maintain the self-sabotage pattern to forever become Life - to forever get my head out of my ass and not allow myself to limit myself to some ideology that I can never be and become because it revolved around the polarities of energy that always involves sticking from positive to negative - therefore - The Good Person CharACTer maintains its standing within and as me by/through what others think/believe isn't/is a Good person and what is a Bad Person and so I allow myself to live my life based on the reactions that I'm being given to how good/bad I play my polarity game of The Good Person CharACter - I do not accept to allow myself to continue play this game that only revolved around how people react/don't react to my CharACTer just so I don't have to face myself - I mean, when I look at the word Hell all I see is consequences and so I have to allow myself to direct myself to take my power back and finally see, realize and understand that I have to take self-responsibility for all I've accepted myself to be and become - what I accepted myself to limit myself as when I could've been walking out of my mind and into the physical to finally in-fact become Life - to finally allow myself to understand that there will always be consequences if it never involves the value of Life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that fearing consequences at this point is completely ludicrous because always trying/attempting/attaining to be and become this good person CharACTer only revolved around myself allowing consequences because I allowed myself to play a CharACter that involved not facing myself to finally face the consequences in-fact to what is here in this physical reality - within this I'm not taking into consideration that consequence exists in every moment of every breath because there is no other way then to embrace everything in this physical reality because its what I allowed in the first place - I now see, realize and understand that if I don't face the consequences in this world/reality then this world will continue the way it is because its what we've become - ALL of it - therefore - fearing consequences is what actually perpetuates/compounds this world/reality to always reveal/show what we as humanity have allowed ourselves to be and become - within this I have to finally take into consideration that this physical reality is a mirror of ourselves to what we've allowed ourselves to limit ourselves as to in-fact face myself to understand that there is no other choice to face the consequences - I do not accept or allow myself to fear consequences because I knew within myself that consequences always involves facing myself to understand that I'm completely self-responsible in every moment of every breath in this physical reality - There is no escaping this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach/connect being and becoming the Good Person CharACTer to/towards being at Church because I allowed myself to trust what my family thinks/believes is a Good Person - therefore - I went to Church because my family told me that if I didn't God would be mad at me and so I feared yet again punishment/consequences - within this I allowed myself to put trust into something outside of me because I knew within myself that it was never about trusting my parents but finally trusting myself to see, realize and understand that consequences doesn't have to involve polarities of good/bad but facing myself to understand that consequence is merely myself facing what I've become - to in-fact take self-responsibility and not put trust in God/Parents because of not committing myself to myself - I now see, realize and understand that going to Church because of fearing punishment/consequences is completely ludicrous because I'm perpetuating/compounding the consequence of myself to not face myself in the moment to in-fact take self-responsibility for putting trust in outside sources - I do not accept or allow myself to continue fearing facing punishment/consequences because of trusting who I am/could be in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to Church because I was trying to find/search for myself in a way - not seeing, realizing and understanding that there is nothing to search/find because I'm already here and have always been here - therefore - going to Church is simply a point for myself to understand how/why I'm separating myself from myself because of hoping that something within the idea/belief/assumption of Church would allow me to see myself more clearly - within this I'm not understanding that if I cannot see myself in any moment then I'm obviously hiding/suppressing who I am/could be because of always projecting myself outward for not actually looking within myself and simply being with myself to see that's enough - I now see, realize and understand that I can go to Church every day for the rest of my life and I will still be searching/finding myself because its impossible to search/find something when its always here in every moment of every breath - therefore - I allow myself to be with myself to not project myself outward to always look for some magnificent experience that will allow me to magically be a good person to finally find myself - I do not accept to allow myself to continuously search/find myself because of not willing myself to actually be here in every moment because if I'm actually here in the moment then there is nothing to search for/find because nothing was missing in the first place - I was/have been already here the entire time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect/attach the I give up character to a picture of my family members telling me how much they love me because I always behave - within this I'm limiting myself to how my family members view how a person should/shouldn't behave in a moment, instead - of actually expressing/sharing myself in a moment because of wanting/desiring someone to love me because I didn't allow myself to love myself to simply express/share myself without any energetic ideas/beliefs of how one should/shouldn't behave and so I allow myself to simply breathe and bring myself back here to see, realize and understand that the love that my family members spoke about only revolved around an idea/belief of how a person should/shouldn't be and not loving someone unconditionally - therefore - I was actually searching/finding something that has no substance/life because it only was an energetic experience that was in the end another CharACTer and had nothing to do with Love.

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Day 15: My Dirty Little Secret with Food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in guilt/shame for not investigating/researching/understanding the way food is developed for consumerism because I allowed myself to eat/digest/intake food without even understanding why/how the food is being developed - therefore - I will eat/digest/intake the food without any awareness of the source/origin to how the food is being manufactured or even take into consideration the animal/being that died for my consumerism to eat/digest/intake the food without any appreciation or actual understanding of how the animal-kingdom is for now the perfect ingredient to this world-system of greed, I mean obviously humans require meat to survive at the point but myself having no actual understanding of how/why food is being manufactured places me putting trust into the world-system and not considering the factors of health concern - E Coli, Diabetes and Obesity (etc) because I was too busy marveling into/as my own ignorance to never question how/why food is being developed because I've conditioned myself to never take into consideration the bigger picture of trusting this world-system to the most basic forms/aspects - I now see, realize and understand that I cannot trust anyone or anything at this point because me as a human-being is separating myself to self-trust and trusting this world-system is how we've allowed ourselves to sit on our asses to never question/ponder how/why our food is being manufactured -therefore - I allow myself to not eat/digest/intake food without understanding the source/origin to what I'm eating in the moment to not allow myself to eat in complete ignorance to only seeing a pretty picture-presentation of the product to entice my mind to never question/ponder why/how food is being manufactured or even take into consideration that food doesn't just appear out of thin air with pretty wrapping and so food has a start and a beginning just like anything else.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that a product starts and ends with a pretty picture presentation - within this not taking into consideration deliberately/purposely how/why food is being consumed in preposterous ways just to make more money/profit for myself to continue marveling in ignorance to only see pretty pictures of a product that is only for my personal pleasure of consumption - not seeing, realizing and understanding that the animal-kingdom feels pain just like human-beings only the animal-kingdom doesn't purposely/deliberately slaughter human-beings for money/profit - I now see, realize and understand that for now human beings require meat to survive in this world-system but us as human-beings providing trust in this world-system to not even consider how/why food is being developed is just confirmation to how us as human beings are blinding ourselves to world corporations on purpose because it makes life easier for ourselves to never consider everyone here as humanity and to even investigate/research/understand the most simplest matters such as where/how our food comes from - therefore - I allow myself to understand that animals will continuously be slaughtered in preposterous ways in this current world-system and so the only way for animals to have some dignity is an Equal Money System and so animals will not will tortured unnecessarily to make more money/profit to allow greed to rule ourselves as Life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and experience anger/blame to farmers providing the resources to these corporations because of assuming/perceiving that these farmers should speak up but I'm not taking into consideration that these farmers are being blackmailed within/as debt to bring advancements to the factories in the farms to slaughter the animals - I mean, I have to be realistic here to understand that this world-system is ruled by/through money and wanting/desiring for the farmers to speak up to the corporations is pointless/meaningless because it will be no different to being some protestor to spew some words to be self-righteous that nobody is going to HEAR to bring about some magic change to this entire world-system - therefore - as long as this current world-system is here there will always be preposterous slaughters happening to animals and so the only way to change this point to bring a dignified life for the animal-kingdom is to educate myself and become a part of the system because sitting on my ass at home and complaining/whining about this world/reality isn't going to allow the animals to have dignity in any shape/form - I now see, realize and understand that participating and experiencing anger/blame to/towards farmers is merely myself not taking self-responsibility to decide to change myself because this world is never going to change if were constantly playing CharACTers to justify/excuse ourselves from our self-interest - therefore - I allow myself to understand that becoming a part of the world-system is the only way for there to be a system that is controlled by money/profit and will use and abuse anyone/anything to continue doing the same thing for generations to come.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only take into consideration the animal-kingdom when/as I'm seeing a video or I'm physically seeing an animal be abused before my eyes because I suppressed/hid from the point that I'm part of this world-system that uses and abuses animals for products and so I'm equally self-responsible for what or what doesn't happen to the animal kingdom - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I'm merely perpetuating/compounding the abuse in this world/reality to have to see a picture-presentation in-front of me to understand the actualities of the torment that the animal-kingdom is going through just to bring about more profit/money to the mega corporations because I allowed myself to think/believe that the abuse of an animal starts and ends with a pretty picture presentation of the product - to not in-fact understand in any shape/form the source/origin of a product because I knew within myself that what I was eating wasn't just a picture-presentation but an animal/being that died for my consumption, I'm not promoting being a vegetarian but its our jobs as human beings to research/understand/investigate the most basic things to how/why our food is being manufactured and to understand that if we continue allowing ourselves to marvel in the pretty packages of products then what else will we fall for? I do not accept or allow myself to not question a product because of a pretty picture but to understand that everything in this world is not a picture and its our jobs as human-beings to understand that everything is made up of life and so everything is alive, even the pretty  presentations of food products - therefore - I allow myself to not define anything based on what I've been taught as trustworthy based on a picture-presentation and allow myself to become a part of this world-system because its the only way there be any change to this world/reality: Becoming a part of this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that a picture of a product has/must be trust-worthy because I've been taught that anything that looks good on the outside is always good on the inside - within this I'm participating in immense separation to not seeing, realizing and understanding that this entire world is based on pictures through the eyes of the mind and only seeing the outside of the picture and trusting what I see through the eyes of the mind will become the enslavement of myself because I'm not in any shape/form investigating/researching/understanding that until we as human beings start questioning this world/reality within self-honesty will we start understanding we've trusted so many things such as how this world-system manufactures food outside ourselves because we didn't want to look at ourselves to see what we've become - to see what we in-fact have trusted the world-system to rest easy to never change and take self-responsibility that we allowed ourselves to become one and equal to/towards animal slaughter in the most un-dignified ways because it allowed ourselves to sleep better at night and to rest easy until maybe one day were the ones that are being abused - obviously, I don't mean become some fucking vegetarian or start panicking about what your doing to the animals and react/experience/participate in shame/guilt but start asking questions to finally understand what we as human-beings have become - to in-fact understand that we've been hiding/suppressing ourselves and we've been using/abusing this world-system to be the perfect excuse to never change but remain participating in the world/reality as some victim.

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• Identity Mania

Day 14 - Giving up is all we've done - Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in the give up character to such an extent that it became backchat that I'm too useless - within this I'm creating ideas/beliefs that someone must be something in order to get something done - therefore - I allow myself to think/believe I'm not good enough/not capable of assisting/supporting myself because apparently I must be the idea/projection of what society thinks/believes is good/enough/capable to get something done because I allowed society to become my perfect justification/excuse to not assist/support - within this I knew exactly what I was doing when I was claiming/assuming I am/will always be too useless because I abdicated my self-responsibility deliberately/purposely for myself to remain in pure bliss because now I can sit on my ass and not do anything that will actually be practical for myself to assist/support myself to actually get everything done to the best of my ability - therefore - I now see realize and understand that claiming/assuming I'm not good enough/capable will only end up in me compounding the point further to the point of diminishment point, wherein - I think/believe I am too useless and in actuality I was only fueling/powering the I give up character to not get daily tasks/assignments done because I knew then that would come to the point that my entire life would change because I would no longer be a slave to/towards characters but have to direct myself to be and become something worthy of life - therefore - there is nobody to blame, certainly not society because I am part of society and so I'm part of the whole of this world/reality to bring change to actually get shit done and have no excuses/justifications but not try/attempt to bite off more then I can chew just to proof to myself that I'm not a character - I allow myself to understand that I'm not a character but I'm certainly not a God that can get everything done and that is why humanity is a group and so we walk together to become self-willed equals that do not wait for God to come and save our asses just so we don't have to take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become the I give up character that I would allow myself to participate and experience the backchat that I'm too useless - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and give value to the I give up character to such an extent that I would diminish myself to think/believe that I'm useless, I mean the point of thinking/believing I'm useless would have to be a pure statement of how much I separated myself from myself because of assuming/claiming that I'm the scum on Earth because I've allowed myself to think/believe I am useless -therefore - become a victim to this world/reality that I'm nothing and cannot do anything because of the belief/idea that some idea/belief is bigger then me outside myself and that's why/how I'm useless - not seeing, realizing and understanding that its everyone in this world/reality that have allowed and accepted the fact that they are useless, I mean if everyone in this world/reality accepted themselves then wouldn't this world be completely different? I allow myself to see, realize and understand that if i continue becoming one and equal to the uselessness and only see myself as this uselessness then I know that I'm completely responsible for this outer-reality and this outer-reality is revealing that which we've denied within ourselves: The Point of self-responsibility, because many of us have claimed/assumed that we already have responsibilities but we don't - not really - because the responsibility that everyone is living right now in this world/reality involves self-interest to always survive and do anything to survive to compete in this world/reality and obviously surviving at this point with out current Money-system is essential but not with the current starting-point were living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that I don't have what it takes to get everything done to the best of my ability that I allow myself to become the I give up character - not seeing, realizing and understanding that I already have everything that I need within this moment because there is absolutely no excuse/justification to not get everything done to my utmost potential because as long as I am part of the Elite then I'm completely responsible to bring about a change to this world/reality and frankly the last thing this world needs is another character to fuel/power the matrix to not change this world/reality because of a mere character - I now see, realize and understand that I will always have what it takes as long as I have the essentials to support myself in this world/reality - therefore - I have to walk this process because the clock is ticking and characters of the mind aren't putting food in children's bellies and the characters of the mind certainly aren't providing any assistance/support to those in poverty and so there is no choice not to walk this process to walk out of mind into the physical at the point because this world/reality is no picnic and its certainly not what it makes it out to be, thus, Time to walk the talk - I do not accept or allow myself to make excuses/justifications for myself to give up myself because the most I accept this point I am giving up on life and so when I'm assuming/claiming that me giving up on myself will not hurt anybody this is just proof on how we as human beings have given up on life in every seemingly way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect/attach another dimension to the I give up character by/through participating and experiencing the backchat that I might as well wallow in depression because I don't deserve to support myself -therefore - I allow myself to not see, realize and understand that there is no such thing as deserving something but DIS-SERVING Life in every possible way to not stand up to actually understand that there are no victims because everyone here is self-responsible and giving up on ourselves will only allow the atrocity to continue endlessly - within this point I have to stop because this entire starting-point of humanity thinking/believing were al victims to the system is bullshit and will always be bullshit because we as humanity are actually relieved to the world-system doing all the work to enslave humanity for us to sit on our asses and complain/whine that all we are is victims and we cannot do anything - therefore - its this mind-set that has allowed us to never change this world/reality and stop the reLIEf to never take self-responsibility to always in-fact never bring about anything worthy of living because of always living the point of giving up - instead of not seeing, realizing and understanding that we as humanity have given up a long time ago and keep giving up and even the faces of children on the television starving to death or the death of a loved one from a drug-addiction still don't allow us to change this world/reality by/through changing ourselves and so all what we do is continue what we do best: Give up. Time to face the music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume/perceive that I am too stupid to get anything done to the best of my ability - within this I allow myself to think/believe that one must be the polarized opposite in order to get anything done and so I'm not taking into consideration that intelligence is what has slaved us for generations and what has actually made us stupid to give up on ourselves by/through always chasing/finding/attaining some sort solution that always involved some sort of formula that was always outside of self and never actually considered living knowledge/information for what is best for all - to in-fact understand that investigating this world/reality is the only way were going to bring any change to stop everyone to become just another philosopher that will soon be forgotten - I now see, realize and understand that the assumption/belief/idea that one must store enough information and recite it precisely and maybe only then I'm good enough/capable to get anything done to the best of my ability - therefore - I allow myself to stop the polarity of chasing/finding/attaining society's view of intelligence to in-fact bring about any change and so I allow myself to understand that knowledge/information has never/will never save humanity but only compound/perpetuate this world/reality to always remain enslaved to knowledge/information that we never even understood in the first place. How can someone understand knowledge/information when they aren't living it?

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that its knowledge/information that has become the key ingredient to the I give up character because that is all what people do in their lives in our current world-system: chase/find/attain some knowledge/information because we gave up on ourselves and we knew and so we've chased/found/attained some point of knowledge/information to hide/suppress the point of not taking self-responsibility and so chasing/finding/attaining this knowledge/information would somehow make up for/cover up what which we always knew within ourselves that we've always given up on Life in every way possible - therefore - I now see, realize and understanding that this game of morality to chase/find/attain some piece of knowledge/information was always a cover up to make up for what we've done to ourselves and to Life - therefore - every decision has a triple affect - someone decides to live their entire life chasing/finding/attaining knowledge/information the world does the same - someone decides to live by/through a principle of is best for all - Who knows what will happen? I allow myself to live the decision of walking our of the mind into the physical because I know within myself that this process is the only thing to do because this world/reality has only become another place to become another philosopher chasing/finding/attaining some gold platter to justify and excuse our self-interest to not stand up for life.

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