This is a continuation to Day 65: Admit It - You Can't Hear
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to when/as the door of opportunity precedes itself
to limit/enslave myself, especially and specifically within the
boundaries of someone presenting a practical-insight to no longer remain
confined to the barriers within and as myself, I allow myself to
immediately/instantaneously abuse/compromise/sabotage myself and the other party that is presenting the point, because I am already in my mind
reacting to a picture-presentation of someone presenting the point
before the moment had already presented itself, wherein I've already
completely disregarded the regard of the person that is presenting the
point and ultimately myself to fully take the moment to it's utmost
potential to be/become my fullest potential of living, because I've
already before the door of opportunity had even arrived, given up on
myself, completely and totally, I have already given up on myself
by/through in the moment that is about to arise, because I am too busy
in my mind
placing/projecting myself outward to how I can handle to not handle the
point that is being presented in the moment, as I've become a victim
to myself - thus I now see how I must be the one to not see above and
beyond a moment to continuously sabotage/compromise/abuse myself, but to
be the self-directive principle of my life that is always making the decision to stand here
as self-expression to no longer create unnecessary barriers within and
as a practical-insight presents itself - thus I realize I in every and
every breath, in each and every moment, that I must stand here to
realize that actually HEREing what is HERE is the key to no longer fearing who I am/have become, in fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize
that I can 'realize' who I am/have become as an expression of myself in
every moment of how/who I am, and in that live rest in each moment
wherein I will no longer remain thinking, believing and perceiving that
self-realization must be suppressed/hidden within/as myself at all
costs. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to not place myself here in each and every moment to the best of my
ability - not giving into the idea/belief/perception/assumption
that I am/must continuously live my life throughout not HEREing
absolutely nothing to remain HERE, in this realizing with myself in each
breath as who I am as life.
Therefore, I see that the practical-solution is to when/as the door of
opportunity arises to expand myself in all ways is to check myself
by/through taking a deep breath to see/realize/understand that the only
way I can possibly expand myself in all facets, to in fact apply myself
accordingly within and as this physical reality by/through actually
HEREing what is HERE, wherein I no longer immediately/instantaneously
have a dimensional shift and imagine all the possible formalities I can
use/abuse to maintain my self-interest. I direct myself to remain here
as breath as self-awareness to in-fact HERE what the other person is presenting in the moment, without giving into my mind to remain in my time-loop of compromise/abuse/sabotage and as such, supporting me to instead HERE for the first time,
because I've been too busy having dimensional shifts, fearing that who I
am/have become will go away at any moment, knowing the entire time that
I was in no way and could only be/become a limitation/enslaved
character/personality to do everything in my delusional power to not
HERE what is HERE.
When and as I see myself fearing a door of opportunity to no longer
remain Confined to the Con of Consciousness, that I've created over time
to ever realize who I am/must be and become, I stop, I breathe
and I bring myself back HERE to in fact HERE. I realize that whenever I
have feared a door of opportunity, especially and specifically someone
presenting a practical-insight, I end up a victim to myself, wherein I
in actuality programed/conditioned myself through my life to remain a
slave/character - not seeing/realizing/understanding that it's all I've been and have used to be/become to the point that I've lived it without any questioning
- thus, if I can literally be/become something to such an extent, I can
most certainly assist/support to bring myself back HERE to in fact
HERE, to inevitably reach the Point of No Return, wherein I naturally
assist/support, in each and every breath, in each and every moment, in
fact.
Thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to
fully consider/take into consideration/account and realize that in
making the choice/decision to already give up on myself, before the
moment of practical-insight precedes itself, I have already determined
my choice/decision to not stand here as self-expression to remain HERE
to in fact HERE, for real, for Life, in all ways possible.
When and as I see myself taking a moment to place/project myself outside
myself to imagine all the possible forms I can take to manipulate the
person that is presenting the point and myself to remain a
slave/character, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back Here. I
realize that the point is here, not anywhere, and most certainly cannot
be hidden, because everything stands here within and as myself, always, I
realize that there is nowhere to hide because the point is here/has
always been here as the expression of who I am as the physical and not a
manipulation tactic to remain caged
in, A Victim to Myself, I commit myself to show/reveal to myself and
others as myself how one can take a part one door of opportunity to a
door of victimization, to transforming/changing a door of opportunity to something I can abuse/compromise/sabotage in complete repetition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize
that every moment that I compromise/sabotage/abuse to remain
manipulating a door of opportunity to stand here as breath as
self-expression, I am in fact not seeing/realizing/understanding that I
am not only compromising/sabotaging/abusing myself the door of opportunity to realize myself, but the change/opportunity
for others to ever have an opportunity of living, because no matter how
much I want to run away/hide from/suppress that my choice/decision that
I live here as breath here in each moment is not only a choice/decision
that I make for myself, but for those in this world/reality to have a
chance/opportunity to live a dignified life, because we're all here in
this physical reality, therefore, we're equally responsible to live each
moment to it's utmost potential.
When and as I see myself compromising/sabotaging/abusing the doors of
opportunities that I face here as breath in every moment, I stop, I
breathe and I bring myself back here - I see and realize that I am
showing/revealing to myself that I am not 100% fully dedicated to
walking this process to my
utmost potential here in this physical reality - and so I commit myself
to slowly but surely HERE what is HERE in this physical reality, because
I am fully responsible for not standing up to purposely/deliberately
deafen myself when/as the door of opportunity presents itself to expand
myself here in this life,
by/through not remaining self-righteous just because I want to maintain
my self-interest, to no longer remain a victim to myself, but live each
moment to the best I can.
To Be Continued...
Showing posts with label awakening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awakening. Show all posts
Monday, October 1, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Day 62: I Am Going Through a Personality Realization
This is a continuation to Day 61: Taking Things A Little Too Personally?
Walking FEAR Dimensions of The Taking It Personally Character
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/diminish myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself, because I immediately/instantaneously want/desire to mind-project myself on this pedestal as being superior/more than/intelligent - in this when/as anyone/anything brings forth any actual practical-insight, I immediately/instantaneously participate/experience/react as though this person/whomever that is bringing up the point is to purposely/deliberately "make me" experience myself as inferior/less than/stupid, within this I've not considered/taken into consideration/account that even if the person/whomever or whatever that was bringing the point forward had nothing to do with myself, because obviously if we continuously used/abused people or whatever to not allow ourselves to actually have a self-realization in the moment within and as the practical-insight that is coming forth, then that has absolutely nothing to do with someone deliberately/purposely wanting/desiring to abuse someone else, therefore, all abuse that I assume/perceive that is occurring the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself that I am experiencing/participating/reacting to//towards the person/whomever or whatever that is bringing up the point in the moment, is always self-abuse to purposely/deliberately not allow myself in the moment to actually have a self-realization to equalize myself within and as myself; absolutely and specifically, because it doesn't there is no such thing as a valid/non-valid point, because every point that presents itself in the moment is always a door of opportunity to slowly but surely humble myself to immediately/instantaneously experience/participate/react in spitefulness because I am wanting/desiring to apparently be/become superior/more than/intelligent, therefore, I now see, realize and understand that it's time to get real within and as myself to in-fact understand/investigate/realize that when/as someone or whatever is bringing up a point has absolutely nothing to do with someone else, because I am the one at the end of the day that makes the choice/decision to stand here within and as this physical reality to do everything in my delusional power to not come to a self-realization, because this what I am essentially doing: Taking everything very personal to not allow myself to realize who I am/could be, I allow myself to take everything purposely/deliberately because I didn't self-will myself to understand that all what I was doing/all that I was fearing was not realizing the actuality of the point that was coming forth in the moment, because I would inevitably read the point of no return, wherein I would no longer remain fearing myself/who I am/have become/could be and become to in-fact live here in practical-insight when/as the moment presents itself and in every moment that I am self-aware of my breath to be/become a humble human being.
When and as I see myself judging/diminishing myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself, because I immediately/instantaneously want/desire to self-create this persona/character/personality that I am superior/more than/intelligent, therefore, when/as this point comes up a stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here, I now see, realize and understand that I am in actuality creating an inevitable time-loop for myself that will only lead to compromise/self-sabotage, because I am in actuality wanting/desiring to mind-project myself in this pedestal as being superior/more than/intelligent to remain in the idea/belief/perception/assumption that if I remain wanting/desiring this "more" that I will actually be moving myself or essentially actually growing in some way, wherein I am moving from one polarity of/as experiencing/participating as being less than/inferior/stupid to/towards being/becoming more than/superior/intelligent, not seeing, realizing/understanding that I am in actuality remaining the same (from the perspective of changing/transforming myself to not be/become the same every day presenting myself in the moment as a mere character/persona/personality), because I am creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am somehow moving or growing as a human being to apparently live my life out as this idea/belief/perception/assumption of/as "attainment" or "fulfillment" - in this I will experience/participate/react as being less than/superior/stupidity when/as anyone shows/reveals to myself that the point that was being showed/revealed was in actuality a door of opportunity that I lost, because I was too busy trying/attaining/attempting to be/become "attained" or "fulfilled," by/through playing this enlightened character/personality/persona that was on this quest of knowledge/information that was actually here/has always been here, therefore, I commit myself to bring myself back to this world/reality to no longer judge/diminish myself in a moment/breath/chance/opportunity that presents itself, because I immediately want/desire to place/project myself as being superior/more than/intelligent, when/as someone or something is bringing about a point that needs/requires change/direction, therefore, I allow myself to stop to in-fact understand/realize/investigate that I was merely living my life out as this idea/belief/perception/assumption of/as "attainment" or "fulfillment" was in actuality a scapegoat to remain doing everything in delusional power to look/search/seek/find a MORE to not actually come to a self-realization that is here/has always been here.
I now see, realize and understand that I am in actuality self-creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am somehow moving or growing as a human being when/as I placed/project myself in this constant pedestal of being/becoming superior/more than/intelligent, when/as someone or whatever would bring forth a point that needs/requires change/direction, I allowed allow myself to immediately/instantaneously want/desire to be this "more" that will allow me on this path of/as time-loop, creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am moving to growing in my life, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I was only continuously searching/finding/seeking/finding a "more" that will allow me to not realize/understand/investigate the actuality of the points that present themselves in the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here to continuously believe/deceive myself that I am in-fact living, wherein I was only playing the enlightened character/personality/persona that would merely move me from one energy point to energy, allowing myself to delude who I am/have become throughout my life that I am in-fact living, all because I never realized/understood/investigated that the practical-insights that would present themselves in my world and reality were in actuality door of opportunities that I didn't take to live within and as myself, to in-fact equalize myself here in this life; absolutely and specifically.
To Be Continued...
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