This is a continuation to Day 63: When Our Power Is Gone
Walking the FEAR Dimensions of The Taking It Personally Character
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to participate/experience/react as being less
than/inferior/stupid to/towards someone/something or whatever situation
that is brining the point open in the moment purposely/deliberately to
forevermore remain a slave/limitation/victim to myself to the extent
that I would see/realize/understand
that all what I am doing is accumulating/compounding/fueling/powering
the point further, wherein extensive amounts of FEAR will be
suppressed/bottled up/hidden from myself to never realize who I am/have become - within this taking everything personal was personally my choice/decision
that I've made over the years because the FEAR that I accumulated over
the years was never in-fact unconscious because I always knew within and
as myself that I made the choice/decision to remain
participating/experiencing/reacting as FEAR, completely and totally,
that I've rather be/become the epitome of/as FEAR to ever realize who I
am/have become, I now see, realize and understand that me remaining
enslaving/limiting myself was in actuality a choice/decision I made/have
always made to always remain a slave/character to/towards myself to
never slowly but surely place the pieces back together, therefore, I
allow myself to get back to what is real, to stop and take a deep breath
and investigate how I'm limiting/enslaving myself on a day to day basis
just because it's easier to remain a victim to myself for the rest of my life to actually become intimate with myself and accumulate self-trust, no longer remaining limiting/enslaving myself within and as FEAR.
When and as I see myself suppressing/hiding from/bottling up extensive
amounts of/as FEAR just to remain a slave/character, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back HERE,
I now see, realize, and understand that if I continue making the
choice/decision to remains slave/character I will inevitably face the consequences
in the end, because I am the one at the end of the day that makes the
choice/decision on a daily-basis to remain a slave/character just
because it's more convenient that way, within this I allow myself to
investigate/realize/understand within and as self-honesty that if my
starting-point to lie day in and day our just because it's apparently
easier, I then must stop, take a deep breath and realize how much I've compromised/sabotaged
myself purposely/deliberately just because it was convenient/easier in
the end, and so I commit myself to get back to this physical reality and
simply take the point that I've used what I am used to
doing/conditioned to participate in on a daily-basis as another
confirmation about who I am/have become to walk what must be walked, as a
motivational point to be/become intimate with myself and accumulate
self-trust, no longer remaining limiting/enslaving myself within and as
FEAR.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to
consider/take into consideration/account that if I am remaining in
complete petrification of my own FEAR that I actually self-created in
the first place, then I now see, realize and understand that harnessing
all these ideas/beliefs/perceptions/assumptions of what it means to self-realize was in actuality my own self-creation of self-realization I mind-projected
onto someone/something or whatever is bringing up the point in the
moment to not face myself, absolutely and specifically to finally
assist/support myself to investigate that living my life within and as
the starting-point of FEAR is actually no way to live and in no way
provides any solution, therefore, I do not accept or allow myself to remain in FEAR
just to justify/excuse myself from realizing who I am/have become, I
allow myself to become humble and to not remain a slave/character and
try/attain/attempt to be and idea/belief/perception/assumption that I
can never and will never be able to be in the first place.
I forgive myself that I have, throughout my entire life, unconsciously
placed/projected extensive amounts of/as FEAR in relation to a
person/whomever or whatever would bring up a practical-insight - in
where I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR to fear realization at
all costs in where I would do everything in my delusional power to
remain enslaved/limited to the extent/point/condition that I go into
defense mode to what I've so much suppressed/bottled up/hidden within
and as the layers of my mind
so I can act accordingly, meaning, I would be too busy in the
moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here to
remain a victim to myself, thinking, believing and perceiving that if I
continuously play this charade of/as the point that is being Re-Vealed
in the moment, that it will actually be more acceptable/natural for me
to always spend my life lying to myself, therefore, I now see, realize
and understand that taking a point personal when/as someone/something
presents itself in the moment for me to bring about change/transformation,
was in actuality never about where the point was coming from, because
it was always myself that was purposely/deliberately unconsciously
layering my mind to forevermore not self-realize who I am/have become to
in-fact change/transform myself for real within and as this physical reality.
When and as I see myself unconsciously placing/projecting extensive
amounts of/as FEAR in relation to a person/whomever or whatever is
bringing up a practical insight, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself
back HERE, I now see, realize and understand I've accumulated so much
FEAR because it was my defense mechanism to ever in-fact have a
self-realization to reach self-change/transformation, therefore, when/as
a person/whomever would bring up a point I would act accordingly to not
HERE to in-fact realize that all I must do is be HERE as breath as
self-expression to HERE who I am/have become to no longer remain
compromising/sabotaging/abusing
myself simply because it's all I've ever known, therefore, I commit
myself to Re-Veal myself to myself to really HERE what is HERE once and
for all just because it's all I ever known, to be/ become humble and to
not remain a slave/character and try/attain/attempt to be and
idea/belief/perception/assumption that I can never and will never be
able to be in the first place.
To Be Continued...
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