 |
| Life (NBC TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-manipulate myself and those that are assisting/supporting me by/through NOT taking a stance within and as myself to no longer deviate my situation to in essence half-ass everything for myself to continuously remain a slave, and allow that to be acceptable because I've self-created the situation I'm facing within and as myself family to be/become something acceptable/natural to ensure that I remain participating in denial unconsciously to remain thinking/believing that everything is fine and dandy because I apparently am unable/will always be unable to take power back to myself to be/become the self-directive principle of my Life - in this the only stance I've taken within and as myself is continuous self-sabotage because I am NOT in anyway allowing myself to absolutely and specifically walk this process to NOT continuously half-ass everything because it apparently suits the situation I am facing - therefore - I am only suiting my self-interest to remain within and as the idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am unable/will always be unable to take my power back to myself to in-fact walk this process, No more Bullshit, and so I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - When and as I see myself self-manipulating myself and those that are assisting/supporting me just because I continuously bullshit myself into and as the idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am unable/will always be unable to take my power back to myself and be/become the self-directive principle of my Life, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I was merely bullshitting myself to be/become a slave for the rest of my Life deliberately/purposely, and so my physical environment would be the perfect justification/excuse because I would assume/perceive that the situation is out of my hands and there is absolutely nothing I can do to walk this process to the best of my ability - in this I was limiting/enslaving myself because process doesn't imply, 'doing something,' but actually in-fact making the choice/decision of who I am in this Life - I commit myself - to STOP the inner-conflict within and as myself because the physical environment that I face on a daily-basis is a cool opportunity for myself to see who I am to/towards my Family's reactions, and who I can possibly be - I realize that this process is based on actually walking a decision/choice as a life commitment to walk a choice/decision, absolutely and specifically, No Bullshit Required.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously half-ass everything for my own self-interest - instead of actually understanding that I am using/abusing my physical environment as the perfect/justification scapegoat to remain thinking/believing that I am apparently a victim in the situation I am in, and so I don't consider/take into consideration that I am merely suppressing/hiding from the denial that I experience within and as myself to continuously use/abuse what is outside myself to the best of my ability to NOT in-fact really commit myself to Life - in this I now realize that I am actually self-creating this idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am a victim to/towards the situation I am in because I am actually relieved within and as myself, I fear that if I put my all into and as this process that I will fail miserably to the extent that I actually fear losing myself, I mean, this is actually pretty funny because I've already lost myself a long time ago and I only now understand this point when/as I am actually taking into consideration that failure is a bitch only when I am not the one that is directing myself in the moment - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I am the one/have always been the one way that made the choice/decision to half-ass everything just because I was afraid of losing myself, and so I've been limiting/enslaving myself to the idea/belief/assumption/perception that I have a beginning and an end - instead of realizing what it means to be eternally here as Life as All as One as Equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deviate my physical environment to my advantage to NOT in-fact walk this process to the best of my ability - instead I allow myself to self-manipulate myself and those assisting/supporting me that I am apparently, 'trying,' to change myself, but I cannot do it to the best of my ability because I apparently am not able/will never be able to walk this process in relation to my family - in this I now understand that this is awfully convenient for myself to make up justifications/excuses just because I am comparing everyone else's external situations in Desteni, I then look at my process in relation to my physical environment - therefore - I allowed myself to NOT consider/take into consideration those that are in absolute abusive situations to the extent that there is absolutely no choice/decision possible to walk this process to the best of one's ability - When and as I see myself deviating my physical environment to my advantage to half-ass everything, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I am merely doing what is apparently easier for myself - instead of actually taking my power back to myself to be/become the self-directive principle of my Life - I now realize that when/as I am NOT making the choice/decision to stand here, Eternal is when I am making the choice/decision to be/become a mere system, and that is something natural/a part of life within and as myself - I commit myself to - in-fact make the choice/decision, slowly but surely, to realize that comparing everyone else in Desteni is pointless/meaning because everyone is different, yet the same and so we have different dimensions to walk into and as this process of Equality & Oneness.
No comments:
Post a Comment