This is a continuation to Day 51: THE USEFULNESS OF USELESSNESS
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe and perceive that I am actually already living/have always been living because of looking at my entire belief/idea/perception/assumption all what Life has been/always been to never take into consideration who I am/have become in each moment - to finally slowly but surely understanding that my Life has not been lived in any shape/form - no self-judgment needed - to finally slowly but surely take my self-responsibility that LIFE has only been about reaching for something/someone at all times to never consider/take into consideration who I am/have become in these moments that I abdicate my self-responsibility to actually live in the first place - I allowed myself to experience and participate in Life from there perspective that I must continuously live up to something/find something to apparently allow me to think/believe and perceive that I am already living/have always been living - I now see, realize and understand that if/when I experience and participate in Life as though I must continuously live up to something/find something to apparently self-create the idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am actually already living/have always been living - I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - When and as I see myself continuously trying/attaining/attempting to reach for something to self-create the idea/belief/assumption/perception that I am already living/have always been living, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that I've been already living/have always been living a Life that has been/has always been a Life, I mean, obviously I am here living in this moment - but I am not Alive - because I've allowed myself to participate/limit/enslave myself to/towards what it actually means to be alive to the point that I didn't understand that being/becoming Alive is to live each moment to the utmost potential I can in each breath - in this I do not need/require to live up to something/find something to self-create the idea/belief/assumption/perception that I am actually Alive - because Life is not a doing in anyway, whatsoever - Life is to realize what it means to be living to actually be/become Alive in each moment to not remain enslaved/limited for eternity based on this one point of being Alive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in Life to such an extent that I have assumed/perceived that Life is about continuously experiencing/participating something because I never had taken the time to realize for myself that Life is to actually be here in each moment - within this I allowed myself to participate/limit/enslave/experience myself to merely a idea/belief/assumption/perception about trying/attaining/attempting to live up to something/find something when in-fact I was separating myself from the solution the entire time because I never looked within and as myself to see how I've separated myself from Life and what I've done to never allow myself to understand how I've separated myself from myself because I am also part of this Life that I constantly reach for/try/attain/attempt to find Life - instead of realizing that Life has been/has always been here - therefore - there can never be any/will never be able to to be any reach/purpose to experience and participate in Life to such an extent that Life becomes something to do and so I allow myself to see, realize and understand that I can slowly but surely take my power back to myself to realize that living can only be actually lived if/when I take the stance within and as myself to be/become Alive in each moment - breath by breath - step by step - moment by moment - therefore - I now see, realize and understand that I am deliberately/purposely living my life based on ideas/beliefs/assumptions/perceptions about trying/attaining/attempting to live up yo something/find something because I wasn't here in the moment breathing to understand that if I live my Life soul-searching for what it means to actually Live - I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here - I now see, realize and understand that Life can never/will never be able to be be lived if I am not actually Alive to/towards this Universe to never understand the Desteni of Life - within this I projected outwards to/towards this physical reality always trying/attaining/attempting to live up to something/find something that never actually existed in the first place - because everything has been here/always been here - Time to actually live for Real!!!!!!!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place Life as this perfect justification/excuse to always excuse/justify myself to take my self-responsibility for always trying/attempting/attaining to live up to something/find something because I knew within and as myself that I was covering up/suppressing who I am/have become to never in-fact understand that I was always in FEAR to never face myself in any shape/form and LIFE has been/has always been this idea/belief/assumption/perception to always live up to something/find something to never understand I was trying/attaining/attempting to live up to find something that has absolutely nothing to do with Life - because I was only deliberately/purposely waiting/wasting/postponing my own freaking Life to actually be/become Alive to cover up/suppress how I am actually experiencing and participating in Life to hide/suppress/cover up who I am/have become to never take my power back to myself to allow Life to be and become Equal in Equality & Oneness as Life.
To Be Continued...
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