This is a continuation to
Day 62: I Am Going Through a Personality Realization
Walking FEAR Dimensions of The Taking It Personally Character
I forgive myself that I haven't
accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and
understand that when/as the moment/
breath/chance/opportunity
presents itself to actually have a
self-realization, I
immediately/instantaneously participate/
experience/react as though the
person/whomever or whatever is bringing forth a
practical point of
insight to "make me" experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid,
within this I do not consider/take into consideration/account that I was
merely taking the point personal, not the person, because at the end of
the day it is the point that is showing/revealing a reflection of/as
myself to actually equalize myself to in-fact accept self-responsibility
to what I've allowed within and as myself/others as myself/this world
and reality/existence to release myself by/through no longer taking
everything personally, because I was essentially denying/not facing the
points of myself that I don't want to see within and as myself to the
extreme that I will
self-create this bizarre idea/belief/perception/
assumption
that the person/whomever or whatever is bring forth the point is
somehow "making me" experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid,
wherein it was me the entire
time
that had given the ideas/beliefs/perceptions/assumptions more value and
definitions to the point that I wouldn't allow myself to realize that
it was all purposely/deliberately self-created within and as my
mind to "make me" seem like some
victim, for it to be more easy for myself to not see, realize, understand how much I am
abusing/
compromising/sabotaging myself and the person that I am communicating with in the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is
here/has
always been here, therefore, I did everything in my
delusional power to
self-create the perfect scapegoats to remain self-abusing myself for
eternity, therefore, I now see, realize and understand that when/as the
moment/breath/chance/opportunity presents itself to actually have a
self-realization, I now re-consider
who I am/have
become in the moment to ensure that I don't purposely/deliberately
self-create the idea/belief/perception/assumption that the
person/whomever or whatever is bringing the point forth to "make me"
experience myself as less than/inferior/stupid, because at the end of
the day it was me who I had self-created the
idea/belief/perception/assumption that something outside myself is
"making me" experience myself a certain way to allow myself to feel
better about who I am/have become to never realize who I am/could be in a
moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think,
believe and perceive that I am "being made" to experience myself as
less than/inferior/stupid and within this would thus think, believe and
perceive that I am completely defined and given value outside myself,
not
seeing/realizing or understanding that I am the one who has make the choice/
decision
to govern my power outside myself to the point/extent that I will
mold/shape what I do or don't participate/experience/react within and as
the moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here
all because of self-creating every possible delusion or illusion that is
possible for me to remain a mere slave stuck in my own box of/as
limitation to not realize what self-realization in practical-living
means, because I've always spent my entire life thinking/believing and
perceiving that realization has nothing to do with self taking
self-responsibility, but to realize within and as an anterior motive to
forever more remain self-abusing/compromising/sabotaging who I am/could
be, therefore, I stop and I take a deep breath, I bring myself back to
this physical reality through seeing/realizing and understanding that I
do in-fact have power to create something worthwhile that can/must be
what is best for all life to no longer remain placing/projecting myself
in these various scenarios of/as "being made to do something" that was
only/has always been in the starting-point to actually self-realize who I
am/could and ultimately must be, ME.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
purposely/deliberately self-create the idea/belief/perception/assumption
that a person/whomever or whatever is bringing a practical-insight to
"make me" experience/participate/react a certain way that will end up in
judgment/diminishment,
within this I have not considered/taken into consideration that in the
moment when/as I am experiencing/participating/reacting as
being/becoming less than/inferior/stupid I am inevitably "making myself"
seem like the victim to the person/whomever or whatever is bringing
forth the practical-insight as though I am the prey and the other party
is the predator, and so I get to believe/deceive myself in the
moment/breath/chance/opportunity that is here/has always been here to
"make myself" not come to a self-realization, because the entire concept
of being/becoming a victim to the other party that is presenting the
point in the first place was in-fact my perfect scapegoat to not stand
up, I've allowed myself to self-create the
idea/belief/perception/assumption that if I make up something within and
as my
mind,
then it will be easier to remain taking everything personal to
personally self-abuse myself over and over again for it to be less
obvious to myself that I was screwing with myself the entire
time,
therefore, I now see, realize, understand that the fear of someone
bringing forth a practical-insight was another door of opportunity that
I've feared throughout my life, because I've never actually heard the
person/whomever or whatever that was brining up the point in the
moment/breath chance/opportunity, because I was too busy doing
everything in my power to have it my way to self-realize who I am/have
become, therefore, when/as someone/something is bring forth a point in
the moment I do not/have never actually heard the person's words or
anything of that nature, therefore, I allow myself to stop and
re-consider who I am/have become in a moment that is here/has always
been here to not immediately/instantaneously self-create this
idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am a victim, I am a victim to
myself at the end of the day for what I allow to do everything in my
delusional power to not realize what it means to actually self-realize
who I am/could be, therefore, I allow myself to get real with myself to
in-fact see, realize/understand that it was always myself that was
"making me" experience myself to purposely/deliberately taking
everything personally to remain a mere slave stuck in my own box of/as
constant limitation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someone
brining forth a practical-insight that I've unconsciously
placed/projected extensive fear throughout the years that I will
actually immediately/instantaneously self-create this
idea/belief/perception/assumption that I am a victim to the point and/or
person or situation, because I am in actuality in-fact in defense mode
to what I've so much suppressed/bottled up
emotions
to the point that I will act accordingly, meaning I will take the point
and/or person or whatever is bringing up the point in the first place
to do everything in my delusional power to not have a self-realization,
therefore, I now, see, realize and understand that if I continuously
live my life
fearing who I am/could be and ultimately must be to create Heaven on Earth is completely pointless/meaningless/useless/
hopeless,
because I can never/will never be able to hide/suppress my
self-responsibility to myself/others as myself/this world and
reality/existence, I thus bring myself back to the inevitable, myself,
therefore, I stop purposely/deliberately accumulating
energy that will only prolong my
process
in the end to ever in-fact realize who I am/have become to get real
within and as myself to no longer remain a victim to myself to slowly
but surely stand up for what I've inevitably must face in the end,
MYSELF - All of Me, therefore, All of Life.
To Be Continued...
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