Day 44: When Nothing Seems to be Going Right

Continuation to:

Day 43: Escaping the Abusive Environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT walk process to the best of my ability because I have used/abused the physical environment as an scapegoat that actually makes sense within and as my mind - to maintain the idea/belief/perception/assumption that I apparently don't have a choice to walk this process to the best of my ability - within this I'm deliberately/purposely maintaining this idea/belief/perception/assumption because I don't want to actually self-will myself to move myself when/as the going apparently gets tough I want/desire to give up before I even started in the first place - in this I've allowed myself to continuously use/abuse my physical environment as why/how I'm not walking this process to the best of my ability to the extent that it becomes an excuse/justification that actually makes sense within and as my mind to NOT in actuality realize the extent to how/why I've possessed myself to remain comfortable into and as my denial/apathy to NOT walk this process - because there is absolutely no middle ground to walking this process to the best of my ability - I'm either being standing/committing myself to this process or I am making the choice/decision to remain just another CharACTer - I now see, realize and understand that this process MUST be walked specifically and absolutely - I CANNOT leave any backdoors for myself such as my physical environment because I wouldn't then be making any commitment/stance within and as myself - because my commitment/stance would be subjected to and as my outer-reality to NOT in-fact stand here absolutely and specifically - I do NOT accept or allow myself to walk this process of Equality & Oneness half-assed because process can not/will never be able to be walked to the best of my ability by/through 99.9% or making excuses/justifications that I CANNOT walk this process because of something like my physical enviornment - Process MUST be walked 100% to ensure that I absolutely leave no backdoors for myself because of self-creating these ideas/beliefs/assumptions/perceptions that I have apparently no choice/decision to in-fact walk this process - I realize now that having no choice/decision to walk this process is when/as I am starving to death or stuck into and as being an sex slave and absolutely hoping/placing and projecting faith that someone/something will finally save me from this Hell - I now see, realize and understand that its up to us as the Elite to STOP making excuses/justifications to in-fact STOP placing/projecting ourselves in these hopeless situations because we never actually known what being hopeless actually in-fact means.


I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am not in anyway in a hopeless situation because I have the more then what I actually need/require to survive into and as this physical reality - within this assuming/perceiving that I am trapped in my physical environment to NOT walk this process to the best of my ability is an justification/excuse on my part to continuously remain in complete possession of/as myself to ensure that I do not take my stance within and as myself that I am merely remaining trapped to myself because I've allowed myself to assume/perceive that I am an prisoner to my physical environment - in this I now see, realize and understand that I am a prisoner to myself because I am the one at the end of the day that make the choice/decision to remain comfortable into and as myself to be/become the denial/apathy that I didn't understand that what I face is a mirror of who I am/could be because I've been too busy assuming/perceiving that I am a victim, and so I will experience myself as trapped - therefore - All my power is taken away because I've allowed myself to be/become less than/inferior/unimportant to/towards my family because I've allowed myself to give in to such an extent that I didn't self-will myself to walk this process to the best of my ability - I now see, realize and understand I am the ONE that makes the choice/decision to stand/commit myself to walking this process to the best of my ability or I will be/become a CharACTer for the rest of my life - continuously assuming/perceiving that I am a victim to my environment, - I realize that I am a victim to myself because I cannot make the choice/decision to walk this process to the best of my ability if I am allowing myself to remain in complete possession of/as myself to ensure that I remain thinking/believing that  I am an prisoner to my physical environment - instead I check myself if I am leaving backdoors for myself to NOT allow myself to walk this process half-assed - I take MY POWER back to myself to realize that it was always here in the first place waiting for me to in-fact apply/live it for the first time, No More 99.9% - its time to walk this process absolutely and specifically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to purposely/deliberately to self-manipulate myself and my physical environment separate from me because I've allowed myself to self-create the idea/belief/assumption/perception that I am apparently a victim to the situation I am in to the extent that I will experience myself as trapped - in this I allow myself to NOT self-will myself to walk this process absolutely and specifically because I've allowed myself to give into my mind to NOT walk this process at all - I would assume/perceive that I am walking to the best of my ability because I self-manipulate myself and those assisting/supporting me because I've allowed myself to NOT self-realize for myself that this process MUST be walked 100% - absolutely and specifically - Making a choice/decision to stand/commit myself to/towards Life and in-fact living/applying it, I now see, realize and understand that I MUST live by/through this choice/decision in self-honesty - instead I am allowing my self-interest to be/become my starting-point because I've allowed myself to think/believe and perceive that my physical environment governs me - I govern MYSELF to make a choice/decision and standing/committing myself to that choice/decision, and so I in-fact stop, breathe and I bring myself back here - I commit myself to take my stance within and as myself to really walk this process of Equality & Oneness, Time to Walk my Talk.

To Be Continued...

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